Page 12 of A Summer of New Beginnings
‘Absolutely not. It’s just not my thing at all. I’m not made for the great outdoors. I’m made for the luxury indoors,’ she replied with a giggle.
He shook his head. ‘You see, I don’t getthat. I can’t get enough of the fresh air and open spaces. That’s why I studied Marine Biology at uni. I absolutely adore all things to do with the outdoors. Give me a rock face to climb, an ocean to dive or a vast area to trek and I’m in my element. I don’t need the luxuries of million-thread-count sheets or fluffy pillows.’
Zara felt a little indignant. ‘I don’t need those things either. Ijust prefer them.’
Josh leaned forward with a determined look in his eyes. ‘I know. But… what about nature? What about breathing clean air and seeing the most wonderful scenery when you wake up on a morning?’
‘I like to see a white sandy beach with a lounger on it when I wake up on a morning. That’s scenery to me,’ she informed him bluntly.
He sighed, clearly becoming frustrated. ‘Good grief,Zara, where’s your sense of adventure? Don’t you want to see more than just the designer fittings of a five-star hotel?’
‘Look, Josh, I think we ascertained long ago that we have different ideals when it comes to holidays. Can’t we just leave it at that? I travel all over the world for my job. I do see places. I go on tours. I don’t just sit by the pool, you know.’ Why was she explaining herself?
‘But you go on thetouristytours. You don’t get out there to see therealpeople, therealplaces.’
Her nostrils flared and she spoke through gritted teeth. ‘No, because many of the places I go to aren’tsafefor people to just go roaming off willy-nilly, that’s why. I like to stay alive. I like to know I’m not going to get kidnapped or robbed.’
‘But in that case you’re not really living, areyou?’ As soon as the words fell from his lips he closed his eyes briefly, as if realising he’d overstepped the line.
Zara came to the conclusion that the night had been a mistake after all. ‘Look, it’s getting late; I think I’d better be going home. Thank you for a lovely evening, Josh.’
She stood to leave the table and he stood too. He held out his arm towards her but didn’t make contact. ‘Hey,gorgeous, I’m sorry, please don’t go. I hate fighting with you. I promise I’ll shut up now.’
She had been aware for a while that he had the ability to open his mouth and jam his foot straight in there and she had once found it quite sweet; disarming even. But now, especially with his strange behaviour, her patience was wearing thin.
She forced a smile. ‘I really am tired.’
His shoulders slumpedand he nodded in defeat. ‘Well, at least let me walk you home, then.’ She shrugged and turned to leave with Josh following close behind as they left the bar.
They walked in silence for a while and Zara’s mind whirred with possible things to say to ease the tension that had built between them. She didn’t want to lose him, but their differences were becoming scarily unavoidable and the last thingshe wanted was to invest more of her life in a relationship that was ultimately going nowhere. There wereopposites attractingand then there was justcompletely opposite. Maybe they were too different. Maybe Marco had been right when he said their relationship revolved around sex. Well, he hadn’t exactly said it but she knew for a fact he thought it.
Eventually Josh grabbed her hand and tuggedher to a standstill. ‘Hey, I know I’ve been an arse. I don’t know what came over me. The only excuse is that I’ve got a lot on my mind right now. You know I’m quite a fun bloke really. And I’m not in the least bit judgemental. But I’ve definitely come across that way tonight, which pisses me off. To be honest… I’m not sleeping and I talk utter shit when I’m tired. And it makes me a bit rambly.Like I can’t stop myself. But I genuinely didn’t mean to go all ape-shit on you about your likes and dislikes. I was way too… gung-ho back there. No wonder I’ve pissed you off.’
The genuine disappointment in his eyes tugged at her heart. ‘You’re not sleeping? What’s going on, Josh? Is it anything I’ve done?’
He laughed. ‘Not at all. It’s just… work stuff… Nothing you can help with. It’ll allbe fine, I promise. I just… I wish I could be more like you, you know? You have this air of confidence about you. Like with this camping thing. You know it’s your job and you’re taking it on the chin even though you really don’t want to. You haven’t point-blank refused. You’re strong. So much stronger than I am, that’s for sure. You know what you like and you stick to your guns. I guess you’re avery strong, independent woman. I don’t have courage like that. So I guess I’m… I’m a little envious.’ The sadness returned.
Zara gazed up with incredulity into the handsome face before her and her heart melted a little. Maybe Marco was right. Maybe he was just struggling to share his emotions. Obviously something was happening at work to make him doubt himself. And it was true that people usuallytook out their frustrations on those closest to them. Then there was the whole thing about him studying Marine Biology at uni. This was new information to her. She wondered why he was working in a camping shop when he was clearly qualified for something completely different.
She sighed. ‘You have nothing to be envious of, Josh. I’m scared to death of making this trip. Any confidence you see inme is all bravado, I can assure you. But… I worry about us. That we’re two very different people and I’m not sure how it will work going forward.’But I want it to. I really want it to.
He reached out and gently stroked her cheek with his thumb, sending a flush of heat where he had touched. ‘It’s been a year, though, Zara. We’ve been great so far, haven’t we? And they do say opposites attract,don’t they? And you know I’m very, very attracted to you.’ His voice had softened to a whisper and her brain was screaming:They do say that, he’s right. They do!‘So what do you say? Are you willing to put this evening behind us? Just put it down to silly male pride and insecurity? I promise I’ll do better next time.’ He tilted the corner of his mouth into a half-smile and that was it. She wasdone for.
Without giving her a chance to respond, he lowered his face until his lips brushed hers and her eyes fluttered closed. She took delight in the familiar feeling of his soft mouth against hers and realised it didn’t matter how different they were on the surface, deep down this was love and she knew it for a fact.
