Page 33 of A Seaside Escape
‘You know…’ He gestured out to sea. ‘And on my left we have a seal and on my right, oh look there’s another seal.’ He chuckled.
She smiled and rolled her eyes at him. ‘No, it’s okay. I just wanted to get some fresh air, to be honest. Colin in the shop recommended a boat trip. Feel free to pretend I’m not here.’ Mallory sighed and closed her eyes as she faced into the sea breeze. Ruby’s front paws were propped on the side of the boat as she looked out too, her little tail wagging.
When they got far enough away from the coast, Greg switched off the engine and took out a flask. He sat opposite Mallory and passed her an empty tin mug. ‘Thought we could sit and chill for a bit here, is that okay? It’s usually a good place for seal spotting.’ He poured coffee into her cup.
She wasn’t sure how she felt really. But shewasenjoying being out in the fresh air. ‘Yes, I suppose. Am I not keeping you from anything? Another job perhaps?’ She smiled
He shook his head and took a slurp of his coffee. ‘Na, Pub at night, boat trips three days a week and odd jobs two days a week… oh and entertainer on my nights off now, that’s me.’ He sounded so matter-of-fact.
‘Crikey! I’m not sure I could keep up with all that. I think I’ll just stick to making stuff, plain and simple.’ The thought of juggling several jobs bewildered her.
‘Aye, you should do that. It’s good to have something to focus on at times like this,’ he said, knowingly.
Her inquisitive streak was surfacing again. She wanted to pry about his situation but wasn’t sure if she should. An awkward silence descended and she could feel Greg watching her. She suddenly felt sad again; lost even.
He leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. ‘It sounds like a cliché, but it does get easier with time.’ He looked down at his coffee. ‘You just need to keep busy.’
‘Is that what you’re doing with your gazillion different jobs?’ she asked.
He glanced up and they made eye contact. For a brief moment, there was a sympathetic look in his dark gaze. But suddenly something changed in his demeanour and the shield he evidently protected himself with slipped into place yet again.
He straightened up in his seat and took another sip of his steaming drink. ‘Na. I like the variety. Don’t get bored that way.’ Why he kept reassuring her in one breath and putting up the shutters in the next one, she could only wonder. ‘Anyway, it’s good that you’re getting out and about. No point sitting and wallowing in self-pity, eh?’
Affronted by his insinuation that she was somehow enjoying her current situation, she huffed. ‘Thanks for your concern, I think. But I’m not wallowing, as you so eloquently put it. I’m grieving; there’s a difference.’
‘Aye what I meant is you should nae be on your own all the time. If you were my little sister I’d be keeping an eye on you, is all I’m saying.’
‘Well, thankfully I’m not yourlittle sister. I’m a twenty-nine-year-old woman with her own life and I’m fine with Ruby for company, thank you. Don’t be so bloody patronising.’ It was her turn to avoid eye contact and look out to sea now.
They sat in silence for quite a while.
‘So, you made any other friends in the village yet?’ Greg asked.
Mallory let out a surprised snort at his hint thattheywere friends and then immediately felt cruel. ‘Sorry. That was mean. I was just surprised to hear you class yourself as my friend,’ she explained. ‘We haven’t exactly got along very well since we met, wouldn’t you agree?’ Greg looked hurt and she felt terrible. ‘Great, now it’s my turn to put my foot in it, eh?’ He didn’t answer. She had clearly hurt his feelings and they sat in silence again.
Suddenly he leaned forward. ‘Look, I know I can be an arse, all right? I’ve never had a female friend, I suppose. I’ve two brothers who never dare let me meet their girlfriends for fear I’ll speak to them how I speak to you. I spend a lot of time on my own, by choice I hasten to add, and I feel sorry for you.’
Anger at his words knotted Mallory’s insides. ‘You feelsorryfor me?’ she spat. ‘I don’t want you to go out of your way to beyour version of nicesimply because you pity me.’ She was horrified and it showed as her voice rose.
‘No, you misunderstand me.’ His voice rose too now, ‘That’s not what I meant. See? This is why I don’t do… this.’ He waved his hand back and forth between them.
‘What are you on about? You don’t dowhat?’
He placed his cup down and rubbed his hands over his face. He was clearly exasperated, but Mallory wasn’t sure with whom: her or himself.
‘Look, that night on the beach, I really felt your pain.’ He paused as if calculating each sentence. ‘I felt so terrible for what you were going through. I understood… Iunderstand.’ He looked skyward as if the words he was searching for may be written up there. ‘It’s not pity, it’s… it’s… argh… what’s the fuckin’ word?’ He raised his hands up in a swift ‘Eureka’ type of gesture. ‘Empathy!’
Mallory’s eyes began to sting as tears threatened. He was relentless. Couldn’t he just shut up?
Clearly, he couldn’t as he took a deep breath and leaned forward towards her again; his voice had calmed. ‘I know how hard it is. You’re in a strange place where you hardly know anyone and you’ve lost theone personin your life that would’ve made that whole situation okay.’ He took off his hat and ran his hands through his flattened hair. ‘I get that. I get what you’re going through. I felt I wanted to help – no that Ineededto help, but it turns out I keep making it worse.’ He peered into Mallory’s eyes again. ‘Oh, fuck and now I’ve fuckin’ made you cry again.’
Mallory sniffed and wiped at her eyes. ‘It’s fine. I’m not your responsibility!’ she exclaimed. ‘I get that you understand, but every time I try to ask you anything, you go all mean and moody on me. I have no clue how to take you. If you want to be friends you have to change how you act around me. I can’t do with trying to second-guess your mood and wonder if I’ve overstepped the mark.’
He slid over to sit next to her. ‘Right, this is stupid. Can we please just fuckin’ start over, eh?’ He clamped his hand over his mouth. ‘Fuck, I’m sorry I keep swearing.’
Mallory smirked. ‘It’s fucking fine! Just don’t fucking do it again, okay? It’s fucking rude!’ she shouted. They stared at each other and then burst out laughing.
Once they had calmed down a little, Greg nudged Mallory’s shoulder with his own. ‘So, I’m guessing you’ll want to know my story, then, eh?’
