Page 80 of Time After Time
His words left me stunned, freezing me in place. My chest felt like it had stopped moving, and I couldn’t quite grasp how I was still standing, how I hadn’t collapsed.
“I’m in love with you,” he repeated as if I hadn’t heard him, but gosh, I had. “This isn’t just a crush or some fleeting feeling.” He shook his head, eyes pleading as if he feared I might walk away. But I stood there, paralysed, unable to blink or move.
“It’s not the kind of crush that fades after a few weeks or the kind you feel when you’re the new kid and a girl is just being friendly,” he continued, his voice cracking. “I’ve long moved past those emotions.” His eyes welled up with tears that he couldn’t hold back any longer. “No, what I feel for you is far deeper. I’m in love with you. When everything started that night, I told myself I’d be content with whatever you were willing to offer, but I’ve realised that’s no longer enough. I’ve become selfish because I can’t bear the thought of not having you in my life. And I know I’m risking everything by telling you this, but I can’t stand the idea of seeing someone else get to experience the future I dream of sharing with you. I’m absolutely in love with you, Gen, and I need you to understand how much you mean to me.”
He stood there, chest heaving because—gosh, he hadn’t even taken a breath.
“And… and we all know what will happen at the end of the summer.” A sob escaped him, and I took a step closer, which only made him take a step back, showing me his hand, letting me know he had to say this. “I don’t know if me leaving at the end of this summer keeps you awake as much as it keeps me, but I am leaving, Gen. I am leaving at the end of the summer because this is my dream, and I have worked so hard to get in… but fuck, I’m tired. I’m tired of pretending and convincing myself that I can only have one thing in this life. That only one dream can come true. Yes, baking is what I have always dreamt of, but why can’t that dream coexist with the one that torments me every night? The one that lulls me to sleep and the one that makes me want to jump from bed every morning, excited to live my day?The dream of spending the rest of my life with you and not as a friend, Gen.”
My mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. Not even a sound.
“I can’t pretend to be your friend, Geneviève. Not when I think I haven’t looked at you as a friend in years. Not when I look at you and want the best for you. I want to be there for the best moments, and I also want to be there for the worst. Not when I’ve dreamt of us together as a couple. Not when I have played multiple times in my mind what it would be like to be yours.Because I am. I am yours if you will take me.”
Gosh, my heart. I… why was this happening?
“And like him…” He took a step closer, lowering his head slightly to meet my gaze directly. “I’d take anything—a word, a gesture—anything that would tell me… that would tell me if you feel the same way.”
I looked up at him, my vision blurring with tears. Though the details softened, I could still sense the anguish in his eyes. My heart ached with his words, fear and hope mingling in his gaze.
When I tried to speak, the words caught in my throat, choked by the overwhelming surge of indescribable emotions that were invading me.
I guess I remained silent for what felt like an eternity because Sebastian’s shoulders sagged, the light in his eyes fading as he took a heavy step back, his shoes splashing in the wet sand.
I tried to speak, but no words came out. My thoughts were a jumbled mess, my vision blurred with tears. Then, I felt a soft kiss on the crown of my head—tender and lingering, as if it were a final whisper of his feelings. Next thing I knew, I heard his footsteps retreating, and while I wanted to tell him to wait, to please stop for a second, I couldn’t. Nothing came out. Absolutely nothing.
At that moment, I realised I had been wrong earlier. I was, perhaps, a lot like the Gen from that dream—lost, overwhelmed, and unable to bridge the gap between us.
“Gen, what the hell was that?” Sylvie’s voice yanked me out of my frozen state.
I felt like I was sinking—my feet heavy, as if they were trapped in quicksand. I glanced down, half expecting to see the ground swallowing me up, but it was just regular sand. The tightness in my throat? That was all me. No sinking ground, just me freaking out.
I swiped my tongue across my lips, wincing at how dry they were. My gloss had completely dried out.
I slowly turned to face my sister. Her brows were furrowed, her chest rising and falling with every sharp breath. The expression on her face, fierce and angry, was so unlike her that I stepped back instinctively.
“Gen, what thehellwas that?” she repeated, stepping closer so quickly that I almost had to step back again, this time just to see her face properly. Her expression was all anger, disbelief etched into every feature. Her head kept shaking, tiny jerks like she couldn’t wrap her mind around what had just happened.
“He… he confessed?” I managed to ask.
“I’m not talking about him.”
“Then what do you mean?”
“You.” Sylvie’s voice was sharper than usual, and I could see the frustration building. She’d always been the patient one, never pulling the ‘I’m older’ card or losing her temper with me. But as she stood there, her face a mess of emotions I couldn’t even begin to untangle, I had this sinking feeling she was seconds away from smacking me upside the head. “I’m talking aboutyou. You didn’t say anything. You didn’t respond.”
She tipped forward slightly, almost losing her balance on the sand as she frantically glanced around, scanning the directionwhere Sebastian had disappeared, like she could somehow will him back.
“How… How was I supposed to answer?” The words tumbled out as I snapped out of whatever trance I’d been in, anger bubbling up from some unknown place, taking me by surprise.
“Oh, please,” Sylvie scoffed, her head still shaking, arms crossed tightly in front of her. Her gaze was sharp, cutting right through me. “You might be able to lie to anyone else. Hell, you might even fool yourself, but you can’t lie to me. Youwon’tdeceive me.”
“What—?”
“Remember our conversation? After you came back from Rockwood with Sebastian? You told me what happened between you two, and I saw how completely oblivious you were.”
“Me? Oblivious?”
“Yeah, but I was wrong.” Her tone shifted, surprising me. Sylvie rarely admitted she was wrong, and now I had no idea where this was heading. “I wasverywrong. You’re not completely oblivious. You didn’t expect Sebastian to confess, didn’t think he’d feel the same way about you, because for some reason, in your mind, you believed he only saw you two as friends.”
