Page 41 of Time After Time
“What?” Confusion stopped me in my tracks, and I found myself staring at his back as he took three more strides before finally coming to a halt.
“It started to make sense that we didn’t pick up on her being sick.” I waited… waited until he spun around, expression tired and face contorting as he suppressed a yawn. “Because she was hiding it.”
I took a cautious step closer, the urge to bite the skin around my thumbnail creeping in. Sebastian seemed to notice, his gaze flicking to my hands just as they twitched. “That doesn’t add up.”
“It does, Gen. Just think about it.” He implored, his tone pushing me to consider it more deeply. I strained to understand why she would hide her pain, but the answer evaded me. “Why would she claim she wasn’t feeling well?”
“To get help?” I offered, the uncertainty evident in my voice.
Sebastian closed the gap between us. “Revealing her sickness, especially in front of Mr. Marley, would’ve just added more pain for him, and consequently, for her.”
“I… I don’t get it, Sebastian.” Frustration bubbled inside me, tightening my chest. Why hadn’t she said anything about how unwell she was? If we had known, we could have done something—anything—to help her. We could have tried to make her feel better, instead of being left in the dark.
“Gen,” his voice, smooth as ever, pulled me back to him after my gaze had drifted into the distance, my mind tangled in a whirlwind of thoughts. “Acknowledging her illness might have made her feel even worse. I think she was trying to convince herself that everything was okay.”
“But why?” I pressed, desperate for answers.
“Because if Mr. Marley had noticed she was feeling ill, he would’ve felt even worse about everything.” He was getting somewhat frustrated as his hands went to his head, running through his curls before they went back to the spot where theyhad been. “He was unwell, unable to do the things he used to, feeling the weight of his years bearing down on him. Most likely, he was wrestling with guilt over his declining health, drowning in thoughts of his wife handling everything on her own.”
Before I could interject, he pressed on. “Mrs. Marley understood him better than anyone. I’m sure she didn’t want to add to his burden; she wanted him to recover as quickly as possible. She couldn’t bear to see him confined to their bed.”
“So she concealed her illness even if it meant going through everything on her own?”
“To spare the person she loved the most from more pain? Yeah.” He said it like a matter of fact, like it was the normal thing to do. “Mr. Marley is left to carry the sorrow of losing the love of his life, but at least he doesn’t have the added burden of feeling responsible. I know he’ll still try to blame himself for her death, thinking it’s his fault for being sick, but she stopped him from those thoughts for some time. Thoughts that would have led him not to follow doctor’s orders and work around, having his health decline even more.”
“But what about her own feelings? Didn’t she suffer more by doing that?” He didn’t answer, resuming his stride, and I hurried to keep up. “Would you do that?”
The unexpected question made us both pause, and I noticed Sebastian flinch slightly before he resumed walking. “Of course, I would.”
“If it involved me, would you do it? Would you hide any pain or… something just to avoid hurting me?”
I didn’t like this question because I knew I wouldn’t like his answer.
“Without a doubt.”
“What about your own pain?” I asked, frustrated.
“It isn’t as important as protecting you from being hurt.”
I scoffed. “What if I did that too?” For a few seconds, his footsteps were the only sound as I paused, waiting for a reaction. “What if I hid my pain just to keep you safe and happy?”
His sudden halt elicited a sharp gasp from me. My heart raced, pounding against my chest and ribs as I anxiously waited for his next move.
He moved slowly, and our eyes locked as he swiftly closed the distance between us. “Listen, Gen,” his voice faltered, prompting him to take a deep breath to regain his composure before continuing. “If you ever feel the...” He sighed, lifting his gaze to the sky. Though the white glow of the moon obscured his features, I could sense the rapid blinking that betrayed his emotions. “If you ever feel even the slightest hint of pain…No matter how small it may seem, I want to—no, Ineedto know.”
His closeness wrapped me in the comforting scent I’d been missing all day. I couldn’t help but smile at the fact that one of his distinctive smells was sunscreen, even though he often forgot to put it on.
“Well,” I inhaled deeply, feeling a tickle in my nose that threatened to turn into tears. “I also need to know when you’re in pain.” His gaze, darker than ever, traced the line from one of my eyes to the other, then lowered to my mouth. This sequence repeated twice before he finally nodded.
“Come here.” I had no time to react or respond as his right hand slid behind my head, nudging me to step closer, while his left hand settled in the middle of my back. “Come here, Gen.” His voice quivered the moment his face vanished from view, and he pulled me into his chest, holding onto me as if afraid I might vanish into dust.
“Sebastian?” I tried to pull away from the hug, sensing his chest tremble and hearing sniffles above my head. Despite my efforts, he tightened his hold, cradling me against his chest, making it clear that his hug was more for himself than for me.
“It’s just been a tough day.” His response was straightforward, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Sebastian was masking his true emotions, likely to spare me from any unnecessary worry. Exactly what we had just been talking about.
The hug lingered for a long moment before we finally decided to continue our journey home, our hands tightly entwined. When we reached the front door of his cottage, he stopped me, almost desperately, keeping us from moving toward my house. The absurd thought of him not accompanying me flickered briefly in my mind before fading away.
“Text your sister.” He nodded toward my shorts, where my phone rested in one of the back pockets. “Tell her you’re too tired.” I furrowed my brow, but he continued, his gaze penetrating deep into what felt like my very soul. “I need you to stay here with me tonight, Geneviève.” The way he used my full name, paired with the gentle, intimate tone of his voice, sent a shiver down my spine. Without hesitation, though my fingers trembled and my heart raced, I followed his directive.
