Page 78 of Under My Skin
She sighs. “I’m sorry. Let me know what you end up doing. Di and I can pick you up from the airport. Just let us know.”
“Yeah,” I say, my voice suddenly small. “I will.”
We say our goodbyes, and I hang up the call feeling raw. One more thing to add to the shitstorm that’s been today.
Grabbing my laptop out of my bag, I open it and start searching for the next flight out.
Chapter Forty-Two
EVERETT
The creakI hear when I roll over is probably from the old wood floor, but as I stretch to ease the kinks, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were from my body. Note to self, twenty-nine is too old to sleep on the fucking floor and not regret it the next day. I groan as I sit up before trying and failing to rub some of the kinks out of my neck.
I squint against the sun, the pit in my stomach sinking. I missed going for my morning ride. I have no idea what time I finally passed out, but it was late. Going for an early morning ride has become such a habit that I haven’t set an alarm in months. It’s the one thing that’s felt constant since my dad passed—it’s the one thing I’ve felt fully in control of. Taking his bike out was my small, desperate way of keeping his memory alive, and I slept through it.
When was the last time I woke up? It’s not like I slept a solid eight hours. I’ve been checking my phone all night. Did I even look at the time when I last checked, or was my only selfish thought to see if Lucy finally texted me back? When’s the last time I checked it? Five? Six? Did I even think about getting up and going for a ride in my sleep-deprived state? Or did I forget about it completely?
The second thought makes me feel sick. How could I forget? He did everything for me, and I can’t even keep his ritual alive? Heat burns behind my eyes, but I don’t feel like I’m about to cry. I’m fucking angry. I should have kept everything status quo. Now I’ve not only betrayed Simon, but I’ve betrayed my dad, too. I should have focused on the business. I should have let renovating the apartment take over my every thought. I should have told her to take an Uber. I should have let her sleep on the couch. I should have minded my own goddamn business and never let myself fall for her.
The last thought hits like a punch to the gut, but it’s true. I’ve started falling for Lucy Blake, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Sitting up, I cross my arms on my knees and let my head fall forward, my thumb anxiously tapping the opposite arm. How could I let this happen? Why does it have to be her? Of all the people in the world, why does it have to be Lucy?
But as much as I want to fight it, I know exactly why. It’s the way she makes me feel lighter with a single glance, the way she isn’t afraid to go after what she wants, the way she is so unapologeticallyher.Just being in her presence makes me feel like I can do and be all of those things, too.
Despite my better judgment, I lift my head and check my phone again. Still no text from her or Simon. I rub my eyes with the base of my palms. Fuck, I’m tired. I wipe my hands over my face and get to my feet. At least my bathroom is somewhat functioning at this point. There’s a toilet, sink, and a shower without a door—apparently that gets installed later this week. No mirror and no toilet paper, but for doing the bare minimum, it works. Cupping my hands, I splash cold water on my face before drying it with my shirt. There’s laughter and low voices from the shop below, and I pause to listen. Hope surges in my chest, and I jog down the wood staircase, practically spilling onto the first floor.
Toni, Troy, and Alex all stand around the desk, their conversationpaused by my less than graceful entrance. No Lucy. No Simon. No opportunity to fix things with either of them.
“Uh, are you okay?” Toni asks with an arch of her brow.
“I’m fine.” I run my hand through my hair because I have no idea what I look like right now, but I can almost guarantee it’s not great.
She scoffs a laugh. “You are not fine. You look like shit.”
I nod in agreement. “Thanks for noticing.”
Alex glances at the staircase behind me. “I didn’t know your place was done.”
“It’s not.” I rub the back of my neck and look around the shop. “Thanks for getting us ready to open.”
He nods but says nothing else. It’s Troy who fills the silence. “Hey, is Simon’s sister still in town?”
Shrugging on my jacket, I say, “Uh, yeah. She is.”
He grins. “Has she asked about me?”
I give him a weak laugh. “Can’t say that she has, Troy.” I reach for my keys. “I’m heading out. I’ll be back in a few hours. Hal and his guys will be here at some point. Let me know if there are any issues.”
Toni’s eyes narrow, and I realize she’s been surveying me for a little too long. “Where are you going?” she asks casually as she looks over my schedule for today. I only have a few simple tattoos planned for later this afternoon. A mom wanting her kid’s initials and sisters getting some sort of infinity symbol they saw on Pinterest. It should be easy enough, and it shouldn’t matter that I’m exhausted.
“I have errands to run.”
She tilts her head, and I swear she can see I’m lying. “What errands?”
I shrug. “I need to get a few things for the apartment.”
“Okay,” she says, looking no more convinced. “You do that.”
Slowly taking a step toward the door, I mutter, “Thanks?” I’mtoo exposed with her looking at me like this. It’s like she can see every point of weakness and knows exactly how to identify each of them. I wave and all but run out the back door to get away from Toni’s piercing stare.
