Page 74 of Under My Skin
His jaw is set when he says, “You might not think so, but he should know better than to pull this shit while you’re dealing with everything. It’s fucking selfish.”
There’s that word again. I wonder if Simon knows he’s hitting the right nerve. Has Everett talked to him about the guilt he feels with his mom? Or the shame he carries for prioritizing his healing? I doubt it. I don’t think Simon would stoop so low, but at the same time, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Simon this angry.
Everett just nods. “You’re right, it was selfish.”
I can practically see him shutting down. Even if he had a good argument to give Simon right now, he wouldn’t. He might be standing tall, but I can see him shrinking.
“Everett,” I say, but he doesn’t look at me. He keeps his gaze locked on Simon. “Everett,” I say again.
This time he does give me his attention. “What, Luce? He’s right. I knew it was wrong to keep it from him, and I fucked up.”
I know I shouldn’t be wounded by his words. He’s right. We both messed up when it comes to Simon, but I can’t helpwondering if that’s all he regrets. “You fucked up?” I ask, hoping for some type of clarification.
“We both did,” he says firmly.
I’m still not sure what he means, and the ambiguous responses are starting to make my own blood simmer. “Right,” I say as I gather my things.
I look back at Simon. “I’m the one who started?—”
Simon looks up at the ceiling. “It doesn’t matter.” When his eyes settle on me again annoyance flickers in his features. “Can you go? I need to talk to him.”
I check in with Everett, and he gives me a subtle nod. Nothing in me wants to leave. I want to stay and make Simon understand. I don’t want him angry with Everett over something I did just as much as him. “We’ll talk later?” I ask Simon as I gather my things.
“Yeah. Okay,” Simon says, but he’s still glaring at Everett.
When I give Everett my attention one last time, he looks from Simon to me. He doesn’t say anything, but the depth of those brown eyes shows me how sorry he is. I just wish I knew which part of all this he was sorry about. Heat prickles behind my eyes, and I quickly blink back the tears. I nod, accepting his silence for whatever it is, but before I leave, I turn to Simon. “Just so you know, it was my idea to keep it from you.”
Without waiting for him to respond, I head out into the cool night air. Even as I walk in the direction of my parents’ house while I order a ride on my phone, I can’t help wondering if what Everett and I had is over. As fleeting as it was, I don’t want to think about a world where he goes back to being just my brother’s friend.
Chapter Forty
EVERETT
It’s killingme not to go after Lucy, but walking out on Simon would do more damage, and I think she knows that. At least, I hope she does.
“Why’d you do it,” Simon asks, and I don’t think Lucy’s parting words have softened him at all. It doesn’t matter that it was her idea to hide this from him. I still hid it. I’m still guilty.
Taking a seat in one of the waiting chairs, I wipe my palms on my thighs and lean against the back of the chair. “Does it matter?”
He crosses his arms over his chest. “What the hell does that mean? Of course it matters.”
“Well, it seems like you’d be pissed about it regardless, right?” I hold his stare, waiting for him to get to the same conclusion.
“She’s my sister,” he finally says. “And you’re supposed to be my best friend. If Lucy was going to be safe with anyone, it should have been you.”
My brows furrow. “Who says she isn’t?”
Simon scoffs. “Come on, you know she isn’t in her right mind. She tried to get a fucking tattoo for Christ’s sake.”
He isn’t telling me anything new but hearing him say it out loud makes me feel worse. “I know.”
“So, why’d you do it?”
“I like her.”
“You like her,” Simon deadpans. “You’re not supposed to like her. This is fucking weird. You’re supposed to see Lucy the same way I do.”
I huff a laugh. “Well, I don’t.”
