Page 165 of Meet Me In The Dark
I stare at her, at the woman who’s seen all of me and still stands unflinching.
My throat tightens again. “Celeste, I’m so fucking sorry.”
She grabs the back of my neck and presses the briefest kiss to my mouth. “I know.”
God, I love this woman more than I’ve ever loved anything. I love the way she meets me where I am, even when I’m a goddamn mess. I love her strength, her stubbornness, her ability to see through every maskI’ve ever worn. I love that she calls me on my bullshit and still somehow makes me feel like I’m worth the fight. I respect her in a way I’ve never respected anyone because she doesn’t just demand it, she earns it.
And she terrifies me because every time she looks at me like this, like I’m hers, like I’ve always been hers, I want to give her everything.
I open my mouth, the words right there on the tip of my tongue, because she deserves to hear them, even if I don’t feel like I deserve to say them. “Celeste, I—”
“I know.” She cuts me off, understanding in her eyes so deep it roots me to the spot. “Me too.”
It’s when she pulls me back down to kiss her that I feel her wash away the shame and the guilt, replacing it in a way only she can, with warmth, forgiveness, and maybe even some acceptance.
Fifty-Two
“How are the panic attacks?” Rae asks, calm as ever.
“Better,” I reply, stretching my legs. “Celeste helps.”
There’s a flicker in Rae’s eyes before she masks it with professional neutrality.
Interesting.
Even the good doctor has her tells.
“I’m glad to hear it.” Her pen hovers over her notepad. “And the obsession?”
A slow grin pulls at my lips. I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees. “Well, I’m going to marry her one day, Doc. So, you tell me how that obsession is going.”
She blinks at me, pen frozen mid-stroke. It’s subtle, but she’s caught off guard. For someone who thrives on picking apart my psyche, I enjoy the occasional shock I send her way.
“Does she know this?” she asks after a measured beat.
“Not yet, but Celeste has a way of figuring thingsout before I do. So, who knows, maybe she already does.”
“And this marriage idea, is it impulsive, or do you think it’s the next logical step?”
“Logical?” I laugh, shaking my head. “Nothing about us is logical. Celeste and I are madness, and frankly, it’s fucking beautiful.”
She raises an eyebrow, though there’s warmth in her eyes now. “Beautiful madness?”
“Exactly.” I tap my chest, directly over my heart, the place where Celeste has taken root. “She calms the chaos. She makes the panic disappear, but more than that, she makes me want to deal with it. She makes it worth dealing with.”
Rae nods slowly, a quiet smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Then perhaps this isn’t an obsession at all, Julian. Perhaps it’s something far healthier.”
“Healthy? Don’t tell Celeste that. She might run for the hills.”
Fifty-Three
Celeste
Julian:Come to the gala with me tonight.
I squint at my phone.
Me:I would rather use my eyeballs as pin cushions.
