Page 76 of Meet Me In The Dark
“More like invasive. She’s taken permanent residence in my head.”
“Is it possible you’re confusing obsession with simple attraction?”
“Oh, believe me, I’ve done attraction plenty of times. It’s tidy. It’s easy. You know what attraction doesn’t make you do? It doesn’t make you get up at the ass-crack of dawn to chase a woman around a neighborhood like a deranged stalker.”
Rae’s eyebrows nearly hit her hairline. “Come again?”
“Running,” I clarify, shifting again. Jesus. “Running, Rae. I’ve started running.”
“With Celeste?”
“Behind Celeste. At a respectful yet somehow still creepy distance.”
Her lips finally break into a smile she can’t contain. “Well, that’s certainly new behavior.”
I scrub a hand over my face. “And that’s not eventhe worst part.”
“Oh?” Her pen hovers over the page.
“I’ve been trying to make... small talk,” I say, fucking horrified with myself. “I’m becoming desperate for anything she’s willing to give me. Who does that?”
“A man who wants to know her,” Rae suggests, scribbling away.
“Exactly. You see the problem. I don’t want to know her.”
“But you do.”
I groan into my palms. “Deeply. Unfortunately. She’s like an itch under my skin I can’t reach.”
“Interesting metaphor.”
I lift my head, glaring at her. “You’re enjoying this.”
She sets her notebook down and leans forward. “Look, Julian, maybe this isn’t such a bad thing. After everything you’ve been through, after—”
I wave her off. “Don’t psychoanalyze me. I pay you, remember?”
“Oh, I’m aware.” Her eyes sparkle with humor. “Your discomfort has funded my vacations for years.”
I glare harder. “Very professional.”
“What I mean is, maybe this obsession—as you so put it—is something else entirely.”
“And what’s that?”
“Growth.”
“Fuck growth. Growth is uncomfortable.”
“Precisely,” she says. “That’s why most people avoid it.”
“I’m not most people.”
“No, you’re certainly not.” She smirks and picks up her pen again. “How’s your mother, by the way?”
I tense, feeling the familiar tightening in my chest.
“Which one?”
