Page 69 of Storm in a Teacup
I think I finally understand where she’s going with this. “Right. That really blows. I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head. “It’s not…I knew this was coming. And I’m not even surprised when things like this happen. I mean, I just noticed a pan that I’ve owned for years is dark blue on the outside. I’ve been thinking it was black. Whatever. I hate that, but whatever. But this color…” She trails off, pinching between her eyebrows.
“What, Lin?” I ask gently.
“Ilikethat color.” Her eyes meet mine, wet and open, but no tears fall. “I really love that color green and one day”—she points toward the couch, her hand shaking—“one day, I won’t be able to see it. One day it’ll stay gray, or whatever other fucking color it will turn into as my eyes continue to change and that justsucks.It sucks, Ben, because I like that color and I want to keep seeing it and it is so unfair that one day I won’t be able to, but other people will be able to see that color for the entirety of their lives.”
“Linny,” I say quietly, unsure of what else to say.
She bulldozes on. “I am so tired of losing things. I’m losing my peripheral vision, I’m losing colors, I lost my…” Her hand forms a fist across her stomach before she presses it to her mouth. “Iam so tired. And I am so…soangry. I’m pissed. I am so furiousall the time.” She shakes her head, gazing up to keep the tears at bay. “Every day, I have to look at everything that I won’t have one day. I have to stare at the world that I am losing. And I hate it. I hate it so much because I can’t stop it.” She looks back to me. “I know exactly what’s coming for me. I watched my dad lose so much of his independence. I’m going to lose that too.”
I reach out as gently as I can, hand on her arm, no idea what I can say, understanding my words are not what she needs right now.
“Do you know what it’s like to know your future? To know exactly what’s coming for you and to be completely defenseless against it? Until science decides to figure it out.” She pulls out of my grasp, turning away from me. “Sorry. Some days, it hits me harder than others. Some days, I get so angry that I want to run and run until I am so far away that none of this matters. So infuriated that I could smash everything in this store. So upset that I could crawl in a hole and not move for the rest of my life and be totally content with that. Or so deranged that I could go knocking on the door of every doctor or scientist I can find and beg them to find a cure faster.”
“I’m angry for you,” I say. She turns back to me. “I wish you didn’t have to go through this. I wish I could do this for you. I wish I could go bug those doctors myself.”
“Thanks,” she says, knowing what I know as well, that my words mean nothing because nothing can be changed.
However, something else she said prompted an idea. It won’t fix anything, but it may help her feel better, if only for a little while.
“That box of broken teacups I saw one time I was here—what do you do with them?”
Her brow furrows adorably. “Sell them if they’re still whole. I mean, people buy them to make candles or whatever. They don’t care if they’re chipped.”
“How much do you sell them for?”
“Like fifty pence apiece. Why?”
I grin. “I have an idea.” I pivot on my heel and head back to the office, where I find Carolyn polishing a silver pot.
She smiles up at me. “Bennett. Hello.”
“Hiya, Carolyn. Can I steal Linny for the rest of the day?”
“Sure. She’s here too often anyway.”
“Hey!” Linny protests. “Iworkhere.”
I grab the box of teacups off the shelf. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“Just trust me on this.”
She sighs, but proceeds to follow me out the door as I lead the way to my flat.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Linny
“You cannot be serious.”
With the box of teacups in between us, Ben and I stand in his back garden—if it can be called that. It’s a fenced-in slab of concrete with IKEA patio furniture in one corner.
“I’m deeply serious.” He snatches one teacup out of the box, placing it in my reluctant hand. “Smash it.”
I look at him doubtfully. After we arrived at his flat, he brought out two pairs of safety goggles from god knows where and made us each put a pair on.
