Page 29 of Storm in a Teacup
“Sorry to hold you back,” she says, looking away.
“That is not what I meant,” I protest, hearing what I said too late. “I just mean he’s fit. And seems like a good guy.”
She sucks her teeth. “Well, if you’re really interested, we can break up in a week or so, and then you can pursue him. I mean, we’d have to break up before the wedding anyway so people don’t ask where you are.”
I’m not going to pursue Paul. I intend to tell Linny that, but instead I ask, “You don’t want me with you at the wedding?”
“No? I just needed moral support tonight. I’ll be fine at the wedding.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
I switch off the lamp on my side. She follows suit, and I hear her set her glasses on the nightstand. I do the same with mine.
In the dark, I ask, “You sure you’re not a cuddler?” I suggestively brush my foot against hers.
She kicks me back. “Bennett Pyeon, I swear to god if I wake up to you spooning me…”
I chuckle. “I swear I won’t be!” I turn on my side, facing her. She shifts to face me as well.
I’m about to say goodnight, but she asks, “So, are you ever going to tell me about David?”
My breath catches in my throat. “I did tell you about David.”
“Not really.”
I grumble, “He’s been my best mate since uni. I gave him a grand confession, and he turned me down.” I squeeze my eyes shut as I say, “The night you and I met was the night I told him how I felt.”
She sucks in a small gasp. “Oh, fuck. Really?”
“Aye. I can’t tell you enough how grateful I am to you for that night.” I silently groan before pressing my face into the pillow, muffling my voice. “I have a confession.”
“What?”
“The last time you asked me if Andy was still watching us, he had gone, but I said he hadn’t. I lied because I wanted to keep kissing you.”
Linny doesn’t hesitate as she washes away my guilt. “Well, I’m a good kisser, so no shame in that.”
I huff out a laugh.
Gently, she says, “I’m sorry David doesn’t love you, Ben. I honestly can say I don’t understand how he couldn’t.”
I shift, shoving my arm under my pillow. “The problem is, he does love me. I know he does—it’s just purely platonic. There’s an invisible line that he is unable to cross. I find it highly unfair that I crossed that line alone.”
She makes a sympathetic sound. “I’m not sure if this will make you feel better, but don’t discount the blessing of platonic love. I am so sorry he doesn’t love you the way you want him to, but platonic love is so important. It’s so special, and it’s something you should try to hold onto if you can.”
Her words settle with me. She’s right. That’s the thing of it. That’s why my head is all over the place when it comes to David, because even if all we are is friends, I want him as a friend. Ineedhim as a friend. He is one of my favorite parts of life, and not having him at all is worse than not having him in the way I want.
“I know,” I settle on saying. “Goodnight, frisky whisky.”
“’Night, Ben.”
…
I blink awake as a crack of sunlight breaks through the gap in the blackout curtains and hits my face. I feel breath on the back of my neck and a body pressed against mine in the bed. After blinking a few more times to start my eyes, I peer down to see Linny’s arm around me and my hand gripping hers.
I laugh silently. Oh, I get to tease her so hard about this. I’m about to flip over to wake her up when I realize…shite. I’m hard as a rock. Lord smite me. I stay as still as I can, pumping my thoughts full of egg salad and brown snow and other unsexy things to get him to calm the hell down.
