Page 47 of Storm in a Teacup
“I’m glad he…well, I’m glad he found you. I…Linny, I hope you know how much I love Ben. He’s my best friend. I never wanted to hurt him.”
I frown. “I know. He knows that, too. You can’t help your feelings any more than he can help his.”
“Yeah,” David says. “I hate…I hate that we didn’t talk about everything sooner. I wish he had told me sooner. If we would have just had a conversation after we kissed last June, maybe we could have worked through this before—” He cuts himself off when he notices my eyes bugging out of my head. One hand covers his face. “You didn’t know we kissed, did you?”
I keep my voice steady. “He failed to mention that. Ben always made it seem one hundred percent on his end and zero percent on yours.”
And, because timing has always been the universe’s strong suit, it’s our turn in line. David choppily orders for everyone, then spins to me. “Fuck,it’s not what you think. I shouldn’t have brought it up—I just have not talked to anyone but Callum about this because I knew Ben did not want anyone to know and you are the first person whoknowson Ben’s sideanddammit. I am so sorry.”
I hold my hands out in an attempt to calm him. “David, listen. It’s okay. You can talk to me.” I amdesperateto know more information. Maybe because I’m nosy, but mostly because Ben is an enigma that I am eager to learn all about. “So, you kissed?”
He makes a frenzied sound somewhat close to a whimper. “Last June. Ben showed up at my door unannounced, talking about fate and the universe and a necklace and electric cars. I don’t know. He was excited and upset. We ended up going out and getting a drink. Then another drink. And another drink. We got pretty drunk that night, so I let him sleep on my couch because he was still living in Newtonmore at the time. After we walked into my flat, I don’t even know how it happened, but hekissed me. And I kissed him back. When I realized what was happening, I cut it off. Said we were drunk. He agreed. Apologized. Mentioned something about his ex. I figured we would talk about it in the morning, but he was gone by the time I woke up. I never brought it up. Neither did he.”
“Oh, wow,” I say as the bartender sets beers in plastic cups before us. “And, after that, you didn’t think…?”
“Ben wasstraight,” David says, distraught. “I thought he was straight. He alwayssaidhe was straight. And he acted like nothing happened. I figured he was embarrassed. I never thought…” He loads the six cups of beer onto a plastic tray, balancing it with the skill of someone who works in food service. His voice is thick as he says, “He would flirt, but jokingly. It’s what we did. Always, since uni.” His voice cracks, “I didn’t mean to lead him on.”
I shake my head, grabbing the fries we ordered and putting them on another tray. “This isn’t your fault. This is no one’s fault. Ben isn’t upset with you. He’s just…”
“Heartbroken,” David finishes. “I’m heartbroken too. I know it’s not the same, but…”
“Friends can break your heart.” I would know. My heart has been broken a time or two. I glance to where Ben is sitting at the table, hands thrown up in the air, while Isla is pointing aggressively at him. I bet he tried to mess up her bowl. “This is such an inappropriate question, but can I ask,how? I mean, how can you not love him like that?”
David follows my eyeline, but his focus locks in on someone else. “My number one reason is the man who…” He trails off with a surprised laugh. Callum has just pulled a brick of a book out of his bag, handing it over to Rachel. “The man who is lending Rachel yet another book he will never get back.”
God, the way he gazes at him. Everyone wants to be looked atlike that. I carefully choose condiments for the fries. “And?”
He shifts uncomfortably. “I’m not going to say I haven’t thought about the reasons why, even though honestly, my number one reason is the only one I need. But…it’s not that I don’t find him attractive. I mean, he’s gorgeous. And he fucking knows it. There’s…there’s this thick line between romantic and non-romantic feelings, and I can’t cross it. It’s not possible for me with him.”
“That’s reason enough. Sometimes there doesn’t have to be a big reason.” I finally pick up my tray. “You know, have you ever seenGilmore Girls?”
“Yeah?”
“You know Max Medina? Great guy. Good-looking. Kind. Loved Lorelei. Wanted the best for Rory. Overall, a catch. Nothing wrong with him. But he wasn’t the one. It’s a simple reason, but it’s agoodreason.”
“Well, would you sayyou’rethe one for him?”
I blink hard. I forgot Ben and I are supposed to be dating. “I…it’s too soon to know that.”
David smiles. “We should head back to the table. Keep this game going.”
“You lead the way,” I say, gesturing with my head. I like to follow in low-light places, have someone else establish the safest pathway.
We make it back to the table, David putting on a happy face that Callum immediately catches is amiss. Callum whispers something in his ear, David shaking his head slightly, as Ben returns to the table from bowling his turn.
Ben looks between David and me, but doesn’t say anything about it, only, “You’re up, Strawberry Shortcake.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ben
We’re back at Isla’s. Rachel carefully brings a cake out from the kitchen and places it on the table, lighting a3and a0candle with a lighter. She starts the song, and I squirm as everyone joins in. When it finishes, I blow out the candles.
Linny squeezes my knee. “Happy Birthday, Benny.” She’s only done it twice or so, but I like it when she calls me Benny.
I don’t say thank you, but rather dip my finger in the cake frosting and plop it in my mouth. “Fair go of it,” I remark, the consistency and the sugar-to-butter ratio actually perfect. I go back and scoop up more, holding my finger out to Linny. “Try.”
She lifts an eyebrow at my finger, and only then do I realize what I’m doing. Oh. This is not normal behavior for people who aren’t really dating. This isn’t normal behavior for people whoaredating when they are surrounded by their friends and family. Too late to back down now. My heart is pounding in my ears. I feel everyone’s eyes on us.
