Page 80 of Three Not-So-Little Words
“And you didn’t tell me?” I still don’t look at him.
“I tried. But you didn’t want to hear it.”
“You sound just like him.”
He comes over and takes a seat on the rock next to me. “Ronnie, I’m going to say some things to you that you may not like.”
“Go home, Dylan.”
“Not a chance. Because you need to hear them.”
I roll my eyes and sigh.
“Veronica, you are a woman who grabs life by the balls and lives every day like her last. And I know why. I’m not saying that’s a bad way to live your life. But in trying to keep everything fun and fresh, I think sometimes, you dismiss the idea that anything permanent could be a good thing. You’re so busy trying to find the new and exciting that you can’t fathom that maybe the every-day small stuff may be good too. I fell in love with Leah doing the little things—watching movies, talking, laughing. Can you admit to me that maybe you enjoyed those times with Drew too?”
I still keep my eyes forward. I know the moment I look at Dylan, the tears from my eyes will spill over.
“Maybe,” I mumble.
“Ronnie, if every single day is extraordinary, that means none of them truly are. I’ve watched you travel the world. You’ve been to the most exotic places. I’m sure my experiences can’t hold a candle to yours. You’ve met many men, but I’ve never heard you say you wanted to see them again. Let me rephrase. I’ve never heard you say you wanted to see them outside of the bedroom.”
“Dylan, what’s your point?”
“My point is that I haven’t seen you have this kind of connection with a man in averylong time. I think that means something.”
“I have no clue what to do with a man who has a kid,” I tell him.
“No, you have no clue what to do with ababy.Drew’s kid is old enough to tell you what he wants or needs. Just treat him like a person, and you’ll be fine.”
“And if I’m not?”
“That’s what therapy is for when he gets older.”
“You’re not funny,” I pause. “I just feel like I finally opened myself up, and he lied.”
“Ronnie, I know it doesn’t make it right. But he told you why he kept it from you. I think part of it was that he was scared to lose youbecauseyou’re so closed off. Do you think maybe it’s about time you tell him why you’re so hard to get close to?”
I finally look at him as the tears start to fall. “I’m scared.”
He wraps his arms around my shoulders. “I know. But you’re Veronica fucking Lawson. You’ve got this. I’m not saying you need to marry the guy. Just talk to him and be open to trying something new like you’ve always been.”
“Maybe I can do that.”
“That’s all I ask.”
“You’re welcome. How about we go get some coffee? I left Luna with Mom so that I could come here. I told her my twin ESP told me where you were.”
“You think she’ll ever figure out that we just share our locations on our phones?”
“God, I hope not.”
twenty-nine
Confessions
Drew
It’s been a day and a half since Ronnie stormed out of my house. I’ve tried texting her, but I decided to give her some time to cool off. I know that learning I had a kid that way was absolutely awful. I feel like a fucking idiot for not telling her sooner.
