Page 79 of Three Not-So-Little Words
“Of course not. It’s my fault. I know I should have brought it up a million times. But there was also a small voice in my head telling me that the moment you found out, this whole thing would be over.”
A million questions run through my mind, and I don’t know where to begin.
I finally settle on, “Where has your kid been when we’ve been hanging out?”
“He goes with his grandma on the weekends,” He says.
“Where is his mom? Am I going to wake up to her next?”
“No. His mom isn’t in the picture anymore.”
I rub my face. “I just can’t believe you’re a dad.”
“Ronnie, I’m the same guy I was last night.”
“Not quite.” I stand up and look around for my heels. “I can’t believe this. I came here last night, ready to open myself up and give this whole thing a chance. And this is exactly why that was a mistake. Something always happens.”
“Does something always happen? Or do you just always wait for something to happen?” He asks.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I mean that you and I have been having a great time. We have this great connection, but every time I try to get a little closer, you remind me that it’s just casual. It’s like you look for a reason for it to fail.”
“That is so not true,” I defend. “I should’ve known better.”
“Ronnie, I’m sorry. Not telling you was wrong. But it doesn’t change things between us. We can still hang out on weekends and do everything we were doing before.”
I can barely comprehend anything that he’s saying because my mind is running in circles.
“I can’t deal with this right now,” I say.
“Please don’t go. Stay here, and we can talk about it. Please.”
As if right on cue, his kid calls, “Dad, can I have more cereal?”
I stare at him. “Look, go be a dad. We can talk about this later after I’ve had time to think and time to drink. Really, go.”
“Let me give you a ride home.”
“No, that’s okay. Just get me my coat so that your son doesn’t see me half-naked. I’m sure we’ve all been traumatized enough for one day.”
“Do you always come here when you’re upset?” Dylan asks, finding me at the falls.
“Not only when I’m upset,” I say without looking at him. “Why are you here?”
“Drew texted Jack saying you left pretty upset. Jack texted me. We are all worried about you.”
“Did you know?” I ask.
“Depends.”
“On?”
“On how mad you’re going to be if I say yes.”
“Dylan,” I warn.
“Okay, yes I knew.”
