Page 70 of Three Not-So-Little Words
twenty-five
Mentally Unstable
Ronnie
“Hey, Aaron,” I greet into the nothingness once again.
This time, I came a little more prepared with a heavier jacket, warm blanket, and steaming mug of coffee. I figure if I’m going to be out here, I may as well be warm.
“Man, it’s crazy being back here. I’ve been on the go for so long that it’s weird having my feet firmly on the ground. I kind of like it…even though I worry about getting bored.”
After a sip of coffee, I keep going, “I wonder how life would’ve turned out if you were here. Would we have traveled together? Would we have ended up back in Lilly Leaf Falls? Would we have settled down together? I don’t know. And it’s probably stupid to wonder.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “What would you think of me now? No commitments. Not taking life too seriously. Here for a good time. I know I’ve always been like that in a sense, but back in the day, you and I were ready to start a life together. Now, I don’t let anyone even get close.”
Another long pause.
“Okay, enough of the sad stuff. I’ve been hanging out with a new guy in town. Nothing serious, of course. But I think you’d like him. He makes me laugh, and I actually like being around him. I haven’t felt that way in a long time.”
I stop talking as my thoughts shift to Drew. He and I have been video chatting every night this week, and we are set to get together this weekend.
We’ve done the dirty stuff, but afterward, we always end up staying up way too late talking. It’s normally not anything super important, but I still enjoy it. There’s something about it that’s oddly comforting.
There are a few guys in my life that I would considerfriends.But mainly, we are fuck buddies whenever I fly into town. While we may make a little small talk over drinks, I sure as shit wouldn’t be talking to them on the phone every night. Hell, I don’t want to do that with anyone.
Yet I’m doing it with Drew.
I think about watching The Mummy with him the other night and laugh out loud about something he said during it.
My brow furrows as I look around, trying to figure out exactly what is happening. Something feels wrong.
Oh, so wrong.
Quickly, I pack up my stuff and get the hell out of here.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m banging on my brother’s door. He answers with Luna in hand.
“Oh, look, a cute baby,” I say, pushing past him. “I need to talk to you.”
“Please, Ronnie. Come on in,” he says sarcastically while following me into the living room. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Something terrible has happened.”
“Ronnie, have you been hitting the bong in the morning again? I haven’t seen you this whacked out in a while.”
“Okay, so I went to the falls earlier. You know…talking to Aaron.”
He interrupts me, “Sis, youhaveto stop doing that. It’s really not healthy.”
“Dylan, I didn’t come here to have you lecture me about how mentally unstable I am.”
“Then, why did you come here?”
“If you would stop yapping and shut your cake hole for a minute, I could tell you.”
He sits back on the couch. “Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt all the crazy.”
“Anyway, usually, when I’m out there…” I pause for a moment. “Okay, let me go a little further back. You know how I’ve been hanging out with Drew?”
