Page 20 of Three Not-So-Little Words
I sigh. “There was this hot tattooed guy at the bar.”
They all turn around to look.
I snap my fingers to get their attention. “Don’t make it obvious, you dorks!”
They turn back to face me.
Leah asks, “What’s his name?”
“No idea,” I say between sips. “We just eye fucked each other for a minute before little Miss Cock Block here showed up.”
Liz asks, “Why don’t you go talk to him?”
“As much as I love you trying to pimp me out, we came here to have a bachelorette party. You’re not getting out of it that easily.”
She smiles, “Hey, I’m just concerned about your vagina the same way you were concerned about mine.”
“Nice try,” I quip.
I fully intend on going back to continue flirting with that guy. I know that my sisters will call it a night pretty early, and I can go make my move. The only one who may not bail is Jo. But knowing her, she will wind up at a nightclub once she gets out of here. That’s more her scene.
As if reading my mind, Jo says, “I’ll bet you ten bucks that Ronnie will end up in bed with that guy by the end of the night.”
“Would I love to take a mustache ride on that?” I ask. “Yes.”
Michelle interrupts, “He doesn’t have a mustache.”
All of us turn to look at her, and I say, “Let me rephrase. I’d love to sit on his face.”
“Oh.” She nods.
I continue, “But my main focus tonight is you all–especially Liz.”
Liz holds up her glass to toast. “Cheers to that. Plus, knowing Ronnie, she probably already got laid within the last 24 hours.”
I respond with, “I did get laid before I flew home, but it was highly disappointing.”
Leah takes a long swig through her straw before saying, “Oooh, sounds like there’s a good story there. Spill it.”
“It’s not that great of a story. I met a smokin’ hot guy at a local bar and took him back to my hotel. He was fun to look at, but he had no idea how to go down on me. Even with direction, he couldn’t find my clit to save his life. Then, when I tried to salvageit during sex, he turned out to be a two-pump-Chuck. The whole thing was extremely disappointing.”
“Damn,” Liz says.
I agree. “Yes. It was awful. I made it known I didn’t have a good time, but one look at my ass afterward had him ready for round two.”
Jo raises her eyebrows. “Can’t blame a guy for trying. Have you seen your ass?”
I laugh. “I’m not rewarding bad behavior.”
Michelle’s face scrunches up. “You make it seem like you’re using sex as a punishment.”
“Uhm, I would never. I fucking love sex. Denying someone would be a punishment for me too.”
“But did you really tell him you didn’t like it?”
“I mean I think I made it known. He’s lucky I didn’t pull out my vibrator and use it in front of him.”
Liz laughs. “We all know Ronnie loves her big box of fake dicks.”
