Page 18 of Three Not-So-Little Words
Wanting one last hoorah, I got drunk and took a beautiful woman home with me.
But I was so wasted I couldn’t even stay hard. I tried satisfying her, but I was too far gone to even do that. The next day, I had a hangover from hell, and I had to switch into Dad mode. I decided then for the sake of my son–and my sex life–I needed to slow down on the drinking.
Just another reason to take it easy tonight.
As much as I’m trying to relax, there’s still a nagging voice in my head telling me to go home and get some shit done. I have a million things I should be doing instead of sitting at a bar, drinking beer.
My phone chimes, and I open it to see a picture from Natalie’s mom. Colton is holding a bucket of popcorn and a slurpee with a giant smile on his face. Behind him is a sign that reads CIRCUS.
Looks like he’s having a great time.
If he is, I guess it’s okay for me to have a little fun too.
seven
I’m a Fucking Delight
Ronnie
“Ronnie,” Michelle says. “Why the hell are we in a country bar?”
“Because it’s the only thing around that isn’t our parents’ bar or a club. Would you rather go to The Dells?”
I already know the answer to that. While I may not mind a dance club every once in a while, my siblings? Not so much. They’re not nearly as much fun as I am.
Let’s face it–I’m a fucking delight.
No one seems particularly excited to be out on the town, but I’m hoping I can change that.
“Let’s get this party started!” I announce while pulling a bunch of goodies out of a large bag.
I hand each of them a pink cowboy hat, a light up penis necklace, and a giant dick-shaped lollipop.
Michelle holds up the sucker. “What are we supposed to do with this?”
Leah answers, “Well, you suck it. I know it’s been a while, Michelle, but damn.”
Leah may not have been born a Lawson, but she fits in perfectly with us.
I add, “I think we figured out why Michelle is still single.”
That earns me an eye roll.
I hand a bright pink sash that reads BRIDE for her to put on.
She says, “Wow, Ronnie, you went all out.”
“We have to celebrate your last day of freedom.”
She sighs. “You’re awfully dramatic. You do realize you’re not the one getting married, right?”
“Maybe not. But if you won’t let me hire a male stripper, we sure as shit can have a bunch of penis-shaped items.” I stand up and add. “First round of drinks is on me.”
Heading to the bar, I order five very large, very fruity drinks.
While waiting, I look over at a guy sitting by himself at the other end of the bar.
We lock eyes for a moment before looking away.
