Page 15 of Three Not-So-Little Words
Definitely a Lawson.
Despite the fact that I’m not a kid person, I love my three nieces endlessly. I may know nothing about them as babies, but when they get older, I get to spoil them and send them back to their parents. Now that Eve is a teenager, I love hanging out with her…because she’s completely self-sufficient.
Babies are a whole other ballgame.
As cute as this little girl is, I know she’s one step away from screaming her head off.
A ticking time bomb.
My sisters all sit around me, accompanied by Leah.
Jo asks Liz, “So, you’re getting married in a few days. Are you nervous?”
Liz shakes her head. “Nah. We are practically already married. I would’ve been happy just going around to city hall and doing it on a random Tuesday.”
Michelle asks, “You never dreamed about your wedding?”
“Maybe when I was young. But with a kid and a business to run, it’s just a lot. These days, I opt for convenience more than anything.”
Leah says, “Totally understand that. When Dyl and I get married, I want to keep it simple.”
I audibly gasp. “You two are getting married?”
“Well, not now. But eventually.”
Shaking my head, I say, “Good lord, it’s a fucking epidemic.”
Leah laughs. “I can’t believe you never want to settle down. What if you meet the perfect person?”
I always hate having to explain myself, but I know Leah means no harm. As much as I wanted Dylan to keep living the single life with me, Leah is great for him. I like her.
“Look, I begin. “I’m all about living life to the fullest and having fun. I have found that in a serious relationship, things tend to stop being fun. The other person always tried to change me or tell me how to live my life.”
She asks, “What if they didn’t do those things?”
Even though I know that’s not going to happen, I shrug. “I’ve never met someone who accepted me. And I never have found someone worth giving up my awesome life for.”
Everyone falls silent for a moment, but I don’t let it stay that way for long. “Speaking of fun, when are we going to do your bachelorette party, Liz?”
Her expression turns into one of discomfort. “About that…”
I point my finger at her. “Eliza Lawson, don’t you dare do this to me!”
“It just seems like a lot of work right before the wedding.”
“What?” I cry. “Liz, this is your last hurrah before you’re shackled to one penis for the rest of your life.”
Liz interjects. “To be fair, it’s a really great penis.”
“Not the point, Ma’am,” I tell her. “You better have some toys waiting in the wings because it’s only one penis. A vagina desires more, Liz. A vagina deserves to see the world.”
“Ronnie, while I appreciate your concern for my lady bits, I’m sureshewill be just fine.”
“Please, Liz. Just one little bachelorette party,” I beg.
“You’re being crazy. Do you know that?”
“Yes, and believe it or not, I can get crazier. So, just say yes.”
