Page 143 of Three Not-So-Little Words
“Mom–”
“No, Veronica. I just flew across the whole continental United States, so you are going to shut up and listen to what I have to say.”
I sigh but don’t say anything.
“I understand why you freaked out. After what happened with Aaron, hearing that Drew was in an accident must have been more than you knew how to handle. Instead of being happy and grateful that he is alive, you run away. Instead of holding him tighter, you break up with him.”
“Mom–”
“Oh, I am not anywhere close to finished, young lady. You ran away from a man who has put up with your bullshit this whole time. He has loved you even when you’ve pushed him away at every turn. He has let you handle and process things at your ownpace without pushing you to be something you’re not. And you find out he’s in a car accident, and you literally break up with him as he’s in his hospital bed.”
Tears begin to prick my eyes. “I didn’t mean to do it right then and there. It’s just–”
“You wanted a way out. You were scared to get hurt again. Veronica, that man lost themother of his child.He lost someone in a car accident, too. Yet he still let you into his world. He still wanted to try because he thought it was worth it. Imagine if Aaron died, and you two had a kid together. Imagine how much more devastating that would have been. That’s what Drew went through, but he still wanted to be with you. The risk was worth the reward to him.”
“I guess I never really thought about it like that,” I mumble.
“I know you didn’t because you’ve never had to worry about anyone besides yourself before. I want you to think about something. You liked Drew enough to spend time with his kid. You liked him enough to let him into your world and stay with him for more than just a couple hours of fun. You truly cared about him, and you let it go all because you were scared.”
“Mom, I’m not any good at this. I know I’ll end up hurting him, and it won’t be just him I hurt. It’ll be Colton.”
She sets her hand on mine. “Veronica, in a relationship, sometimes, people get hurt. It’s normal. Your dad and I have pissed each other off, said hurtful things, and all the bullshit you can imagine. But at the end of the day, we stayed. We tried. That’s what it’s all about. It’s not about finding some perfect love. It’s about two people who continue to try because you know the relationship is worth it.”
Now, the tears are streaming down my face. “What if he dies?”
“Honey, people die. It’s part of life. But I want you to think about something. If you knew Aaron was going to die back in the day. If you knew a month before that accident that it wasgoing to happen, wouldn’t you try to spend every single possible second with him? Wouldn’t you try to cherish that time?”
I nod.
“You wouldn’t run away just because you knew it was going to happen. It’s the same thing with Drew. Everyone is going to die someday. Maybe your dad will die first, or maybe I will. We don’t know. But what we do know is that we try to spend as much time together as we can because it adds to all the lovely memories. What about if you had run away from Aaron before he passed? You would have missed out on a ton of special memories you made. Those are all you have now.”
“Him dying really fucked me up,” I tell her.
“I know, sweetie. But Aaron is gone. He’s been gone for a long time. This whole time, you’ve been living your life to the fullest, but you’ve forgotten how to love. It’s time to start loving again. And I think you’ve already started that with Drew.”
“I just–”
“Veronica, I need you to say it. Out loud. I need you to say that Aaron is gone. He’s never coming back, and it’s time for you to move on with your life.”
I think for a second. “Aaron is gone. He’s never coming back.”
“Sweetheart, I know you miss him. But you need to stop pining for him. You need to stop going to the falls, and you need to stop punishing Drew because you’re sad about Aaron. That man has done everything right, and you need to realize what’s right in front of you.”
“I’m scared,” I admit again.
“I know. That’s normal. But you’re going to be fine. I promise.”
“How do you know?”
She smiles. “Because you’re Veronica fucking Lawson. You’re always okay.”
I can’t help but laugh.
She adds, “And if you’re not, you can always come find me. I’ll make sure to put you back on your feet again.”
Our mom can come off like a hard ass, but truthfully, she’s an amazing mom. She always has her kids’ backs no matter what, and she would go to hell and fight the devil himself if she needed to.
“I don’t know what to do. I feel like I really fucked things up.”
