Page 14 of Three Not-So-Little Words
“That’s total bullshit!” Liz screams at Michelle. “There is no way that George Clooney is hotter than Brad Pitt.”
Michelle rolls her eyes. “Are you kidding me? George Clooney practically smolders. Those eyes of his!”
Liz waves her hand, almost spilling her beer in the process. “Please. Brad Pitt’s jawline. End of story.”
Michelle retorts. “George Clooney was Batman.”
“True,” I jump in. “But I don’t know that you can count him. His bat suit had literal nipples.”
My teenage niece, Eve, looks confused. “Wait a second. Hold up. George Clooney played Batman? Isn’t he too old?”
Her mother looks offended. “One, he’s not old. Two, he was much younger when he played Batman.”
Eve rolls her eyes. “I think the fact that you had to saymuch youngerproves that he’s old.”
Dylan and his girlfriend come walking in from the kitchen. Dylan asks, “Why the hell are you guys battling Pitt vs. Clooney?”
Leah, his girlfriend, points to the TV that’s on in the background. “Ocean’s Eleven is on.”
Dylan nods. “Got it. With all the yelling, it sounded like the age-old debate you guys would have–Backstreet Boys vs. N’Sync.”
“Who?” Eve asks.
We may have not had any common ground thirty seconds ago, but now we can rally against the teenager who knows nothing about boy bands.
All of us start talking at the same time, growing increasingly louder while we try to get our points across.
Jo, our youngest sister, comes walking in.
Eve looks at her. “Aunt Jo, help me out here. Please tell them that boy bands suck.”
Jo shakes her head. “Oh, hell no. I’m not jumping on that grenade. I was forced to listen to them all. You’re on your own, kid.”
Eve gets tired of listening to us and gets up to leave the room. When she’s gone, immediately Michelle and Liz get back to the Pitt-Clooney debate.
Liz turns to me. “Ronnie can be the tiebreaker. Once and for all, who is hotter?”
“Ladies,” I begin. “I don’t see why it has to be one or the other. I’d want them both at the same time. Hell, throw some Matt Damon in there too.”
They both nod in agreement.
Liz says, “That’s an excellent point.”
Michelle turns to me. “Ronnie, how many guys have you been with at one time?”
Ramping up her intrigue, I ask, “Do you really want to know the answer to that?”
Her eyes dart back and forth as she thinks. “Uhm, I think so.”
Laughing, I reply. “Only one.”
She and Liz both look shocked. Michelle says, “Really?”
“Look, I enjoy focusing all my attention ononeother person. More importantly, I want them focusing all of their attention on me. But for the men of Ocean’s Eleven, I may make an exception.”
Dylan walks back in, holding his six-month-old daughter, Luna.
Without a word, he puts her in my lap. I look down at her head full of dark hair and her big brown eyes.
