Page 110 of Three Not-So-Little Words

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"I'll get started on it." She looks up at me. "Now, I just have one more question."

I brace myself for her to shock me again. "What's that?"

"You wanna bang one out before you go back to work?"

That’s my girl.

"I'm offended you even need to ask."

forty

I think with my Metaphorical Dick

Ronnie

"Smile!” My sister, Michelle, says while holding up her phone.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask.

"I think this needs to be documented." She looks at what she just snapped.

"What are you talking about?"

“Veronica Lawson is out shopping for stuff to decorate the bedroom…of her boyfriend's son. I never thought I would see the day."

"You're being awfully dramatic."

"I'm really not. This is brand new territory for you.” She holds up her phone. "Why do you look like such a sour puss?"

"Maybe because my sister is a smartass."

“Oh, don't be cranky. You know I love you. And I'm proud of you."

I sigh. "While I get the sentiment, it's just getting old hearing it from everyone. I'm trying to be calm and cool, but it's hard when everyone is busting my balls."

"You're right. I'm sorry.”

"It's okay." I tell her. "I know it's weird. Anyway, I brought you along to help me pick out some stuff. You had a six-year-old once."

She laughs. "Yeah. Quite a while ago. And mine was a girl, not a boy."

"Eh, how different can they really be?” I ask.

"Well, you’re a girl…how much areyoulike a guy?" She asks.

I shrug "I like to drink. I like to fuck. And more often than not, I think with my metaphorical dick."

She purses her lips together. "You're a terrible example."

I hold up two Spiderman wall decorations. "Which one of these do you think would look better?"

She looks back and forth between the two of them. "Uhm..."

"You're right. It's impossible to choose. We'll get both."

“Man, you're really going all out for this kid."

"I'm invading his space by staying there. It's the least I can do.”

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