Page 68 of Body Language
That she was gone for real this time.
I’d played that scenario in my head so many nights I lost count.
Imagined the funeral.
Imagined me explaining to Heidi why her mom’s sickness got worse and she died.
Imagined holding Huxley while he tried to act strong but I knew it still ruined him.
My throat burned, tears slipping before I could stop them. I scrubbed at my face quick, talking to myself under my breath.
“Fuck. Get it the fuck together, Niv. You don’t cry. You don’t break.”
My chest heaved, but I forced the tears back. “You always knew this could happen. You’ve been ready. Shake that shit off.”
I bit down on my lip, trying to anchor myself.
But inside, I wanted to scream. To fall apart. To curl into a ball and admit that holding it all together for everyone else all the damn time was breaking me down piece by piece.
The silence in the truck felt louder than my own heartbeat. My fingers were digging crescents into my thigh when suddenly his hand covered mine.
They were warm like he knew I was seconds away from shattering.
I turned, and Kendrix was watching the road, one hand on the wheel, the other holding mine like he wasn’t letting go, even if I tried to snatch away.
“If you ever need a moment to break,” he said, not even looking at me, “you can. I’ll be right here holding it all up until you’re ready to stand again.”
My eyes blurred again, no matter how much I tried to fight it.
Because he didn’t saybe strong.
Didn’t sayyou’ll get through it.
Didn’t tell me toman uplike life hadn’t already forced me to.
He said I could break. And he’d hold me through it.
That one sentence hit harder than every tough-love lecture I’d ever given myself.
I turned away fast, biting my lip so the sob didn’t crawl out my throat. But I couldn’t hide the truth. Not from him. Not from myself.
And in that moment, I knew….
I was falling for Kendrix Givelle.
No matter how much I swore I wouldn’t.
No matter how dangerous it was to want someone like him.
Because finally, the strong one wanted to be held.
When Kendrix turned onto the cracked street of Gun Hill, my heart started beating so hard I swore it shook the whole truck. I was bracing myself for chaos. Blue lights bouncing off brick walls, sirens screaming, neighbors hanging out on porches whispering but still loud as hell. An ambulance door swinging open, ready to take my mama’s body out under a white sheet.
I was ready for it or at least I thought I was.
But when we pulled up…
Nothing.
