Page 7 of Resurrection
I nod, understanding completely. He needs his space, so I’ll give it to him. With my head on a swivel, I look at our surroundings, aching for some sort of outlet as I’m drawn to the firepit in the middle of the backyard. “What about dinner? Any ideas?”
“Dinner....” He toes his boot into the grass, pocketing his hands as he thinks for a moment. “I’d rather not use the MREs we have unless we need to. We still might have a long way to go, yet. Unfortunately, this place isn’t very hospitable with the lack of any sort of shelf-stable foods. Nothing but empty cupboards filled with fuck-all in them.” He shakes his head at the knowledge but an idea must come to him, causing him to perk up. “I don’t know... Want to go hunting? Fishing? Maybe find something to cook on a small fire before night falls?”
My heart races at the suggestion. Killing stuff. Killing stuff to eat it. I can kill stuff. It’s what I wantedto do in the first place only this is actually productive.Hunting.Not nasty, ooey-gooey, ruin your nice boots, zombie killing. Why in the fuck didn’t I think of that in the first place?!
“Hell yeah, I can find dinner for us. You grabbed our packs, right?”I ask, my gaze glued to him as I turn and immediately start heading back towards the front of the house, not waiting for him to answer as I start my little side-quest. My excitement is palpable, and the availability of a potential kill is putting a little pep in my step. Might even cause me to leap and click my heels together with glee at the possibilities.
He nods in response. “Yup, still in the granny wagon since we didn’t really need them before now.”
With a murderous smile, I face forward and make a run for it. “Perfect.”
Chapter Four
Aly
There are different types of silence, the uses meant to vary depending on each unique situation. The comfortable silence with friends and family—where no one feels the need to disrupt the quiet peace found amongst one another. The silence of depression—where the world is too loud to hold back, bombarding and battering you over and over again until you can no longer shield yourself from its assaults, so you build your own walls to finally shut down and quiet your mind. The respectful silence, saved only for mourning and funerals. The type that follows flat smiles and placating gestures, empty promises, and a mountain of regrets.
Then, there’s the type of silence filled with suspicion. Where things aren’t how they should be and are very...verywrong. Where the patient, whowasresting on the pillow bed we made on the floor, is no longer there. In fact, I can’t find him anywhere. Not even in any of the bedrooms. Besides the bathrooms, they were one of the first places I checked. We told him he could move there if it made him more comfortable, but heseemed resigned to stay where he was, which brings me back to—
“Where did you go?! Cole?!” I yell up the stairs again in case I missed him. Silence. Irritating, echoing silence.
He almost died. His wounds aren’t fully healed. He needs to rest, dammit!
My teeth and fists clench as the pounding sound of Jax taking out yet another tree fills the room. It cracks and breaks, thudding on the ground, giving me a moment of reprieve from his unending vendetta against the landscaping this morning. Both he and Hawk walked out the front door just after my impromptu breakfast featuring my much-needed sugar fix. They were delicious. As per the norm. But were they joy-filled like I’d expected? Like they’d always been?
No.
No, they were not. The crawling feeling under my skin still lingers even after I delivered the killing blow to the last of the Smore’s treats.
My life flashed before my eyes twice within the past week. Once, when I almost succumbed to the horde on that beach, and then again when I thought Cole was drifting away from us and there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn’t necessarilymylife I visited when I looked down at him, but the life we might not have gotten. The life we could have lost... with Cole.
I could picture it so clearly. The future years... filled with so much love and adoration and potential. Theimages floated through my mind like a silent movie I never wanted to end.
Surviving through this hellscape. Finding sanctuary far away from any threat the living dead posed. Growing closer together. Growingoldertogether. I can still see the shadows of greys and whites whispering around his ears, and the wrinkling of skin from his wide smile. I remember seeing Hawk and Jax growing old alongside him but never losing that youthful playfulness that always existed between them. Thosewhat ifsdissipated like sand through my fingertips as we watched him lay still on the floor, desperately clinging to hope.
So still.
He was so still.
Likedeath.
Like I had been dying as well, right there next to him.
But then... so suddenly... there waslifeand it was as if I was being resurrected with him. My heart pounded through my chest as I tried to wrap my head around the fact that, yes...he wasalive.Staring deeply into my eyes, caressing my face, reassuring me that all was well and good and right in the world. That was all that mattered. He’s alive, as were we all.
But if that’s the case, then why do I feel like this? Not panicky like I’m semi-prepared for—been practicing coping mechanisms for—but paranoid. Anxious. Ready to fly off my own proverbial handlebars and take out theworld if that front door opens and it’s not Jax or Hawk behind it.
Is this how Jax felt? After...
Even as I take a deep breath, trying to reset, calm is not an accessible emotion. On edge, however, that’s more accurate. Easily attainable after everything we’ve been through. It’s clear my inability to cope with everything that’s happened is taking over, no matter how much I try to force my mind to focus on the facts. To remind myself Cole’s alive. ThatI’malive. Hawk and Jax are still alive. Even Sadie, our beautiful pup, is alive. So why do I feel so out of control?
Probably cause you’re like three days late and up to your eyeballs in progesterone?
“Oh, shut up. First of all, I’m late cause stress does that to women. It’s fucking normal. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been under a ton of it, lately. And, secondly, fuck you.”
“Aly?”
I spin around so fast I almost smash my face into the corner of the wall, my rage-filled argument with myself taking a backseat as Cole enters the room, his hands bracing on the wall as he limps along the carpeted floor. My hands press against my own wall, willing it to steady me and my racing heart.
