Page 48 of My Fake Date With My Childhood Friend
“Oh,” Alexander said. “Okay, I see how it is. Never mind, then. I’ll let you guys talk.”
Looking visibly upset, he grabbed his jacket and walked out, not sparing me another glance.
“Alexander, wait!” I called. I took a step outside into the pouring rain but when I tried to go after Alexander, Joseph pulled me back. “Alexander, please!”
He spun around at the end of the driveway.
“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, Penny,” Alexander said. “I get it. He was your first love, right?”
I recoiled. It was the first time I really understand how he probably saw me: the girl who was still in love with her ex-boyfriend who cheated on her and would take him back the moment he apologized. Could I really blame him? But what would I do now? I wished he knew my heart. All I ever wanted was him now. Joseph was ruining what could be my shot at happiness.
Alexander got in his car and quickly sped off. I was left alone in the pouring rain with my least favourite person in the world.Alexander storming out like that seemed to please Joseph. He smiled widely and grabbed my hand again.
“Phew, I’m glad that is over with,” he said. “Let’s pick up where we left off.”
He leaned in to kiss me but I shoved him away as hard as possible. He stumbled backwards and dropped his umbrella.
“Get away from me!” I exclaimed.
“What was that for?” He yelled.
“Will you stop this? Can’t you see I don’t love you anymore, so will you get out of my house?”
“You know you love me.”
“No, I don’t!” I felt like I was about to cry. “You ruined everything!”
“You’ll come around.”
“No, I won’t. Alexander is too important to lose because of the likes of you.”
I ran into my house, slamming the door loudly, not waiting another second to hear what that lunatic would say. I ran to my room and jumped on my bed with hot tears running down my face. My heart hurt. My mind flashed to how Alexander looked hurt as he ran away. Even if it was a fake relationship, we had been so happy. I was always happy with Alexander. He never made me cry or doubt myself. It was like it was the two of us against the world. He was there for me in the darkest moment of my life, and I would never forget that.
I should have told him how I felt, but I didn’t. I chickened out as usual when he had been nothing but nice and loyal to me. He supported me through everything and this was how I repaid him. I knew my sincere feelings for Alexander, but I hadn’t expressed them. It hurt so bad to think I caused him any pain. Now he thought I was getting back together with Joseph. Happy memories flashed through my mind and just made me cry harder. I felt like I was going to suffocate under the weight ofall of these emotions. This was why I promised myself I wouldn’t fall in love with anyone again after Joseph. The pain of losing a relationship was just too painful to bear. I’d made a huge mistake and now I was paying the price for it.
I tried calling Alexander again and again, not knowing what I would say to him if he answered, but praying that he would, anyway. After probably the tenth time of him ignoring my calls, I sent him a text.
Hey, I’m really sorry. Please call me back. I’m worried about you.
He read the message but didn’t say anything. At least I was sure he wasn’t dead. I thought of going over to his house, but I knew he didn’t want me there and I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable in his own space. He was still angry and he wouldn’t listen now. I was going to have to wait for his anger to subside.
I made a promise to myself I would look for him and make it up to him. He didn’t deserve all of this. He deserved the world.
nineteen
The formal wason the evening of the second last day before the break, so Friday morning was my last chance to talk to Alexander before Christmas Eve. The last day at my school was just a half day without any real classes. We had to go to our homeroom for about twenty minutes, then we had the Holiday Assembly, which was really just a talent show. Technically speaking, it wasn’t optional, but so few people showed up that it might as well have been.
I pulled my scarf up over my mouth and nose to protect my skin from the icy wind and tilted my head down as I power-walked to the school. Why did the weather have to take another turn for the worse again on the last day of school? The normally ten-minute walk had turned into a good twenty minutes today. And to make my bad day worse, I was stuck behind the slowest walkers in the world — Ryan and Ella — who were too busy holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes to realize they were blocking the main doors into the school. It was like they were in their own little world.
Somebody crashed into me from behind, barely muttering an apology as he swerved to get around Ryan and Ella. He didn’t quite make it, though — there was now a large bottleneck of foottraffic as students desperately tried to get inside. There were people on all sides of me, giving me no space to get away from the love-sick couple. My lip curled as they started kissing, right there on the school porch, of all places. Gosh, at least find an empty classroom or something.
“Will you two move?” I finally snapped. They both jerked back instinctively. Ella stared at me with wide eyes, looking remarkably like a lost puppy. I gestured at everything around us. “You’re blocking the door, and we’re trying to get inside.”
“Oh.” Ella blinked as if she was only now realizing where she was. “Sorry.”
Painfully slowly, she grabbed Brandon’s hand and started walking inside. There was a mad rush as people started pouring through the doors and into the school. I let myself be pushed along with it, resisting the urge to glare at Ryan and Ella, who were now making out against a wall featuring the House Crest of the family who used to own the manor that was converted into our school. Honestly, it felt a little disrespectful to be kissing right there, but I supposed it was better than in the stupid doorway.
A sense of déjà vu crashed into me so hard that I had to stop walking for a second. This was exactly how I’d been before Alexander, and I started this fake relationship — hating the world and all couples. I hadn’t realized how much he pulled me out of that funk. But why did the idea of him being mad at me to make me feel this way again? That definitely didn’t make any sense. He and I were never dating, so I shouldn’t have been feeling like I’d just been broken up with all over again.
