Page 10 of Loving Trent
I know you must be too busy to have forgotten about date night, but Jimmy said he hasn’t received our money for the trip next month. If he doesn’t get the payment within the hour, we won’t be able to go.
God, I’m such a fool. My earlier exhaustion hits me harder than before, and I plop on my leather sofa. My head drops back onto the back cushion, and a long, drawn-out sigh leaves my body. How could I have missed what was right in front of me? All the signs were there, but did I refuse to see them? At different times, he would ask for something and whine if I didn’t get it right that second. Of course, I felt bad for him because of his past. Who wouldn’t? But did it make me blind to who he really was? Probably.
My childhood wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t that bad either. Before we were even born, Sammy and I were placed for adoption. Our biological mother was young—still in college—and made the selfless decision to place us with a family who could support us. Sandra, our biological mother, is back in our lives, and our relationship is thriving. Our biological father, Sonny, didn’t know about us until years after the adoption had happened. He is now a big part of our lives as well.
As for our adoptive parents, our dad split before we turned one and hasn’t been back, but Mom is amazing. She worked her ass off to provide for me and Sammy. We didn’t have much, but we had what we needed and some of what we wanted. My coming out didn’t go how I thought it would. I ended up blurting it out in a police station while fist-fighting with Zak. Not my finest moment, but I had just learned that Dylan, Sammy’s daughter, was his, and we were facing the fact that both Sammy and Dylan were dead. But no one looked at me any differently, and I have never felt an ounce of hatred from my family or my friends.
So yeah, I felt bad for Steven and didn’t think twice about helping him or buying him nice things. I’ve always been someone who spoils the people they care for. Even when the abuse started, I still gave everything I could. But looking at our relationship now, it’s easy to see that Steven was taking advantage of me and my generosity.
I feel like a bigger fool for thinking that we were in love. My phone buzzes from my pocket. I know who it is before I even pull it out. I hesitate for a second, worrying about how I look. But the person calling is the one person I never want to upset by not talking to them.
I accept the FaceTime call and smile as my niece fills the screen. “Hi, Uncle Shawn,” Dylan says. Then her blue eyes narrow, and she looks more like my sister and, I guess, me since we’re twins. “You’re hurt!” Her little bottom lip starts to tremble, then it stops, and all the emotions clear from her eyes. She’s getting mad, and I’m not sure what to say to calm her down. Not when the evidence of what just happened is clear as a sunny summer day.
“I’m okay. I hit the punching bag to hard at the gym, and it hit back,” I say, hating that I have to lie to her, but I answered the call. Once again, I’m fucking everything up.
She tilts her head to the side, assessing my story. “You need to talk to Momma. I think someone hurt you. I’m telling all my uncles and Daddy. They will come up and take care of it. Hold on.”
God, I love her. Sammy and Zak had her tested a year ago for ADHD. Of course, she has it, but nothing could make me not love her. “Dylan,” I say, but she ignores me. She must be running through the house because all I see is the ceiling flashing by.
“Mommy! Something is wrong with Uncle Shawn. Someone hurt him,” Dylan says frantically.
Sammy’s face instantly replaces the ceiling with the same look I saw a second ago. “What’s wrong?” Her eyes narrow, and I close my eyes, so I don’t see the disappointment in them.
I sigh, “It’s nothing, I went too hard at the gym.”
“Liar,” Dylan yells in the background. She turned ten this past December, but I swear she thinks she is an adult.
“Dylan, leave us for a second. When I’m done, I will bring you the phone,” Sammy says.
“Fine, but I’m telling Daddy he needs to go back to Cape and beat Steven up. No one hurts my Uncle Shawn and gets away with it. I know it was him,” Dylan says, and I can’t help but laugh at how stern she sounds. She is way too damn smart for her own good.
“Okay, Ms. Ten years old, going on twenty is gone. Talk to me,” Sammy demands.
“It’s no big deal. I had an issue at work and forgot about date night. Steven wanted to make it out like it was the end of the world, but in reality, he was pissed because I forgot to pay for some expensive trip he wanted to take with his friends.” Keeping my eyes closed, I take a couple of calming deep breaths. There is no way I’m going to tell her about the verbal abuse or how it turned physical. Even though she would never judge, I don’t want her to know how bad I let it get this time or in the past.
“And your face? Shawn, that’s a handprint. Plus, I can see a cut on your other cheek and red marks on your neck. Is that a bruise?” With each question, tears sting my eyes, and the urge to tell her the truth grows, but I can’t. I can’t allow her to know how much of a coward I am. Not after everything she went through. This is nothing compared to her situation.
“I'm fine.”
Sammy sighs loudly. “Shawn, whatever happened, you can tell me. I won’t judge you or even tell you that I was right about him being wrong for you.”
She will never know how right she was. The first time Sammy met Steven she told me she had a bad feeling about him. I should have listened to her because after what she went through with William, her ex, her instincts have never been wrong since. “Sammy,” I say. Her name is a plea for her to let it go.
“He had a big dick, didn’t he?” She asks, and my eyes spring open. The smile on her face lets me know that she is going to let this go for now. There is still worry written in her eyes, but I’m thankful that she is willing to change the subject. It’s not over, and I know it, but I need not be forced to talk about everything tonight.
“Shit. I don’t want to hear about big dicks. Unless you’re talking about mine,” Zak says, which makes me gag. I don’t want to think about his dick. I spent way too many years fantasizing about that part of him.
“Shut up. I don’t want to hear about your dick,” I groan.
Zak must have pulled the phone away from Sammy because now I’m staring at his ugly mug—okay, he is still handsome, but that crush is dead, thank God. “Dylan said I needed to come beat Steven’s butt. You okay?” I look away because just like Sammy’s eyes, Zak’s turn hard and burn with anger.
“This isn’t becoming a thing.”
“What isn’t?” He asks.
“All of you sticking your noses into my personal life. I’m a grown-ass man who can take care of himself. So, I broke up with my boyfriend. I’ll be fine. Now, give the phone back to my niece. She is the only one I can stand right now.”
I sigh in relief that he doesn’t argue but returns the phone to Dylan. I spend the following hour listening to her talk about her day and everything she did. She shows me her two dogs and tells me how Zak said she couldn’t have a cat. She acts like this isn’t a daily thing—our phone calls—but I wouldn’t have it any other way. After telling her I will see her this weekend, I get off the phone with her and decide to get drunk. I need to stop thinking. After slamming back shot after shot of whiskey, I pass out on my bed and tell myself tomorrow is another day.
