I blushed, “Umm... weren’t we doing a pool day? I feel like someone said that... I should go find my swimsuit. Samantha... we should go find our swimsuits. They're probably buried in all the things you had Xander conjure home for us. It could take a while, and I’ve already spent a lot of the day dancing and…”
Xander kissed me, which had me melting into him. When he pulled back, Sierra clapped, “Gosh he’s so handy.” I rolled my eyes. Sierra said, “I already told them who offered. You can just say his name.” I linked her, “Are you insane?! They could ask Cayden about me!”
Sierra groaned, “Seriously?! I love you Melanie, but you are so dense about yourself. They will ask him eventually if they haven’t already. They are smart and probably figured out who his source was long before we met them.” My heart began to beat faster.
Xander kissed my neck. He whispered, “Calm down, Lovebug. I’m only moderately annoyed my brother in law met you before me, but I’m happy he knows talent when he sees it. That’s his job.” I really did not want Xander talking to Cayden about me. There were things Cayden wouldn’t be able to say and Xander would figure it all out.
Sierra grabbed my hand, “Come on. Phil mentioned the possibility of a swim day earlier, so I have our swimsuits ready in our room. We will be back!” She grabbed me and dragged me to her room with Phil.
I decided I still needed to jump into the shower just to rinse off. Sierra held out my swimsuit. It was a black with a red sleeved swim shirt that clung to my skin. The bottoms came up to my hips with sheer material up the sides. I put it on quickly. Sierra had her tie dye bikini on with a wrap that matched.
She asked, “What was with the angry dancing?” I sighed, “I met the Angel Goddess. She sucked. Not as bad as Selene, but she’s a goddess so… She said she was going to answer my questions, then proceeded to basically answer her own questions that she asked intermittently… not mine. She showed me the tattoo I was given…. Somehow.”
Sierra gasped, “You have a tattoo?” I lifted up my foot. Sierra smiled admitting, “That’s actually kind of pretty.” I nodded agreeing, “It is. Who gets a white tattoo though?” Sierra snorted, “You do. Obviously.” I rolled my eyes, “Yeah... apparently, I’m special.” Sierra replied, “You are.”
I snorted, “They don’t have the right to say that….you can…because that’s fair…the goddesses? Hell no…they don’t get to say anything about me. Anyway... I also got to play with my brother's wolves.” Sierra fanned her face, “That’s so sweet.” I cringed, “I mean…”
Sierra offered, “The Angel Goddess can’t be that bad then.” I argued, “She didn’t bring them.” She asked, “Who did then?” I sighed, “You’ll think I’m crazy….if I answer that question…so let’s just say it wasn’t the Angel goddess and leave it there.”
Sierra crossed her fingers over her heart pledging, “I swear I won’t think you’re crazy.” I cringed, “The white wolf brought them.” Sierra bit her lip, “Hmm that’s interesting.” I snorted, “It’s crazy.” Sierra shrugged, “I mean maybe the Moon Goddess chose the white wolf legend to see you since you’d hit her if she came personally.” I laughed, “That makes sense.” Sierra smiled, “That’s what I’m here for.”
I whispered, “The Angel Goddess said my family could come there soon.” Sierra touched my arm, “If she’s messing with you, I’ll hunt an Angel down and give them hell.” I laughed, “Thanks, Si.” Sierra told me, “I really hope that happens.”
I admitted, “I do too.” Sierra added, “Your parents and T would tell you that you don’t deserve this. The stupid Moon Goddess should’ve sent you the legend wolf MUCH sooner. You’ve deserved that moment for so long.”
I hugged her, “I really hope it’s true.” I could feel some tears stream down my cheeks. I whispered, “I miss them, Si. I don’t care if I see them in some weird forest/meadow place that a legend visits. Seeing Ajax and Apollo… it was amazing.”
I admitted, “If the Angel Goddess hadn’t ruined it... I probably would’ve made sixteen dozen chocolate muffins this morning.” Sierra growled, “That bitch! I now loathe her too! How dare she take that from us all? I could’ve hoarded them.” I laughed, “We should get back outside.”
Sierra hugged me, “I’m sorry the Angel Goddess ruined your visit with your brother's wolves. I know before I shifted and could play with him in wolf form, I had a lot of fun with Torst.” I actually had ridden Torst once at his and Dax’s insistence.
I wiped my tears, “I had fun with their wolves. They were always so playful.” I tried to wipe the tears away as fast as they fell but they were still streaming down my face. I whispered, “Ajax was so protective of me. He still was, even in that place.”
“Apollo always was… but T isn’t around anymore. He said he didn’t have a new human yet. Couldn’t Selene just send him to someone I know so I could have him around? Having him around would be close to having T.”
Sierra hugged me, “It’s honestly the least she could do.” I told her, “The Angel Goddess said Xander won’t reject me.” Sierra pulled back saying, “Oh Mel, of course he won’t. He loves you so much. It’s in his eyes. If you’d just look, there’s so much to see in those eyes.” I asked, “Like what?” Sierra urged, “Just look.”
I had no idea what that meant. I knew at this point I had an unhealthy idea about Xander not rejecting me. I needed to get it together. Freya offered, “It’s not unhealthy. Unhealthy is letting someone beat the ever loving snot out of you for something that’s not your fault. Unhealthy is letting people punish you because you think you deserve it.”
“Not for what they are punishing you for, but for the deaths of your family members. It’s not your fault. There’s something off about all of this.” I acknowledged, “It might not be healthy, but I do deserve it.” Freya disagreed, “You really don’t.” I wished she was right.
I could still hear the sounds of Tristan’s labored breaths after he dove in front of me to take that bullet. The ‘thunk’ of the bullet hitting his skin. I could hear my mom’s scream, and it haunted me. My dad’s anguished and labored breaths as he joined them in death. Some days those sounds played like a reel in my mind.
Sierra shook me, “Hey, are you ok?” I nodded, “Yeah…umm…totally….fine. This is me being fine. It’s my thing. Let’s go.” Sierra sighed, “You are still the worst liar.” I shrugged, “Yeah, yeah, I know. For what it’s worth, Freya agrees with you about Xander.”
She replied, “Of course she does.” I added, “She also doesn't like how I deal with my family's death.” Sierra snorted, “You don’t deal with it. You let people hurt you. There are times they have hurt you that you didn’t let them, but there are times you do.”
She paused then added, “You’ve been punishing yourself because of notes that pop up. Jason is being emotionally abusive to you in those letters and calls. I don’t even know if they are his words at this point. They match the tone of Alpha Kyle’s notes.”
“I feel like he got into Jason’s ear, but your brother is an adult, and he’s made choices. The wrong ones but he made them. The only time he’s backed off is when you gave him what for about Trevor lying about being your mate. If you’d just push back, I think Jason would stop like he did then.”
I sighed, “I know Jason made his choices… and I even know he should’ve picked me. Ajax would’ve…I mean his wolf was still so protective of me…I worry they are fighting…but he’s grieving.” Sierra nodded, “Grief doesn’t give you a pass on being a dick. He’s not the only one hurting.” I knew that.
She sighed, “At least you got to see Ajax. Maybe when you see your family in that dream place, they can straighten you out on what you deserve. Your parents would not have wanted those things to happen to you. Neither would T from everything you’ve told me about him.”
She was right and I knew that. Tristan would be furious with everyone, myself included. My dad would kill a lot of people… so would my mom. Jason used to be in that group. Until that fateful night when he turned on me. Maybe in twenty years he’d change his tune… or a century… that was still and option.
We walked back outside together. Xander turned and drank me in. Something flickered in his eyes too fast for me to decipher. He was in his swim trunks... shirtless. I had to make sure I wasn’t drooling. He popped to me then smirked.
