I asked, “What does that mean?” Sierra snorted, “Exactly.” I frowned at her. I linked Freya, “What is she talking about?” Freya hummed, “I’ve already told you, but you don’t believe me.” Ok, both of them were being a little crazy and I had no idea what they were talking about.
Xander explained everything to me then went down the bunny slope. I studied his movements, realizing they were easy enough to mimic. Just like that, I had it. Xander was staring at me with surprise. Dang… Jason really didn’t tell him anything about me. That stung, but I brushed it off. He didn’t know I was Melanie so that was a silly thought. Freya snorted again.
I motioned to Xander to join me. Sierra linked, “I’m sure I’ll see you going down a black here and worry for your life in the next several moments.” I replied, “You could go down blue ones too. You picked this up just fine.”
Sierra snorted, “This is one of those ‘common sense’ things, Mel. I’m going to let my mate keep ‘teaching me.’ All while giving him little grinds against the hips here and there. This is my plan to get him really going for later.” I could admit that plan had credence.
I still asked Xander if we could go on other slopes. We did a few greens, and blues. I FINALLY convinced him to go down a black one. I watched him from behind. He was maneuvering around as if he’d done this his whole life. He probably had.
Eventually, I sped past him. I decided maybe Sierra was right, so I gave him a good view of my butt. Plenty of guys talked about my butt. Sierra linked me, “You give me heart palpitations. Thank GOD you’re almost to the bottom of this ridiculous mountain.” It was exhilarating feeling the wind in my face.
We spent the rest of the day on the mountains until we broke for lunch. When we were done Elias and some men found us. I knew nothing was wrong because I checked my watch. No alerts went off. Freya laughed in my head.
I asked her, “What’s wrong?” Freya answered, “Nothing is wrong. People are just trying to put the pieces together.” I asked, “What people? Elias? Or Xander?” Freya answered, “Yes, Xander.” He’d figure out what Elias wanted soon enough.
Freya snickered again. This time I could tell it was directed at me, I just didn’t know why. Elias needed Xander and Phil to see someone. I glanced at Sierra because she sounded nervous. I shrugged that off. Xander kissed me before he left and told me he’d be back soon.
Once they popped out, I asked, “What’s wrong, Si?” Sierra frowned, “Umm well...” She trailed off then answered, “You know what? Nothing.” I snorted, “I checked the alerts on my watch. Nothing went off. They will be fine.” She hummed.
I asked, “Do you want to watch a movie? You can make the drinks, and I’ll get the snacks.” Sierra nodded, “Done.” She came into the living room with a drink cart. I snorted, “Fancy.” We picked a movie calledHot Fuzz.
I could feel that Sierra was watching me more than the movie. I thought the movie was pretty interesting. I heard a clock chime out at midnight. Freya whimpered in my head and a pain hit me like lightning.
I screamed as everything faded from view, and I saw the scene from when I was fourteen years old. I saw Tristan die again. I screamed at myself, “Call someone! Use the phone! Do something!” I’d memorized Xander’s number, I should’ve called him.
I watched myself cry out for him, but I could’ve called him. Maybe he could’ve saved Tristan. None of this would’ve happened if I’d had my stupid phone. I sobbed watching my mom die. Every year when this happened. I tried to change things, but I just couldn’t. I even dove in front of the bullet that killed Tristan, my mom, and dad. It would never hit me though. It always made an awful ‘thunk’ sound as it hit them.
The vision cleared and I realized I was in Switzerland. Sierra was holding me. She whispered, “I’m so sorry, Mel. I thought with your Xander here maybe the flashback wouldn’t happen this year.” I linked my wolf, “Freya?” She whispered, “I’m still here. I just need a nap. I won’t leave you, Melanie.”
I cried because she sounded so weak. I downed the drink Sierra made me then ran to the drink cart. I flicked the cap off the vodka and chugged it. Sierra shouted, “MELANIE!” I didn’t care. I welcomed the burn in my throat.
I kept hearing the sound of the shots hitting Tristan, my mom, and my dad. Over and over like some sick replay loop. My side ached and I rubbed my ribs where I’d taken a shot myself all those years ago. I found another bottle of vodka.
Sierra took it from me saying, “I’ll mix you a drink, ok? You already downed an entire bottle. Let’s just mix this one.” I shrugged because it didn’t matter. She handed me my drink. I whispered, “I should’ve called someone.”
Sierra argued, “You were fourteen years old, and you were scared and alone. You reacted. You still fought with your family. The McAlister’s are fighters. All three of them that died that night would be ashamed over what Jason and Red Run had done to you.”
She rubbed my shoulders, “You HAVE a wolf. They turned their backs on you for nothing. You ARE Former Beta Drake McAlister’s biological daughter. You were his chosen daughter before he even knew if you were his or not. They spit on his grave with their actions.”
I cried, “I should’ve called Xander. He could’ve saved T. Everything would be different. Xander could still love me as me. I’m Melanie McAlister the family killer. I love him so much, Si. I love him, and he could leave me.”
“Do you think it could be different? Jason could admit I’m our dad’s pup now that I have Freya… everything could be different. I wouldn’t cause them any trouble. I just want to be with Xander. Why can’t I ever have anything good? Why do I see that every year? Why me? What did I do?”
I screamed, “They weren’t supposed to be there! They weren’t. That entire scenario happened so many times… why did they come back that night? Is Jason even safe? They shouldn’t have gotten that close to the pack. Warriors should’ve heard the shots. Why didn’t anyone save them? Why didn’t anyone come for us? They have a traitor. Jason isn’t safe, and I’m on vacation. I’m selfish. I should save him.”
Sierra snorted, “You mean save him again. You've saved Beta Jason’s ass countless times at this point. We will figure out if they have a traitor. You are allowed to take a moment for yourself. Self-care is a thing, Melanie.” I didn’t deserve it.
Sierra sighed, “You have thought of everyone except yourself for almost seven years. You are not being selfish now. But even if you were, you deserve it. You’ve lived your life since I met you to save your remaining family members and your Xander.”
“You live for the dead too. You’ve honored your dad more than your living brother has ever so much as thought of doing. Drake would be so proud of you and of the woman you’ve become. Not of all the things you do, but most of them. What you’ve done is amazing. You’ve changed big things for everyone that had been forgotten and left behind.”
I cried, “I don’t feel amazing. I feel like a fraud that Xander will leave behind when he finds out who I am. It’s never going to be enough. This is going to happen every year. What if Xander sees it happen?” Sierra sighed, “There won’t be any hiding it from him when he gets back. You’re drunk and sobbing.”
I shook my head arguing, “No, it’s our bubble this week. Tell him it’s part of the bigger explanation.” Sierra winced. I cried and took my parents' wedding rings out from under my shirt. I always wore them on a chain around my neck.
I rubbed them, wishing it could bring them back. I admitted, “I miss them, Si. I want everything to go back to how it was before… before my home pack let all these bad things happen to me. Jason doesn’t know the truth of it, but why doesn’t he care to find out?”
“He wanted me to be punished. Jason and Peter both. Even Grandpa Ben. Why did they do that? It… Peter would never allow a pup to suffer what I did. If I was anyone else, he would’ve said it wasn’t my fault. That I’d done nothing wrong. Why did he do this to me? How could Jason let him?” I sobbed in her arms, and she tucked my parents' wedding rings back into my shirt.
