I was trying to remember a time when I felt safer than I did caged in his arms, but I was drawing a blank. Freya was purring in my head. How did people do this? I’d almost answered her out loud a million times. All those thoughts flew out of my mind when my lips met Xander’s. It was better than I’d ever imagined…. and I’d fantasized about it a lot.
When he pulled back...I couldn’t help the small but loudly terrified part of me that was scared he would break me. He could. I needed him now that we’d met…this pull between us was different than I’d anticipated. Before all I had was longing for him now…it was all consuming.
What if he rejected me? Would I lose my wolf again? Freya whimpered in my head. She stated, “You will never lose me again.” She didn’t know that though. She was a new wolf. Shehuffed, “I’m an old wolf. I’m just new to having a human.” Interesting.
Xander was upset. Freya replied, “He thinks you are scared because he’s an Alpha Enforcer.” Well, I didn’t know how to tell him….that wasn’t the problem at all. I was scared he’d leave me. Because I was Melanie McAlister….the family killer.
Freya growled, “That wasn’t your fault! Besides, there’s someone off about that too.” I questioned, “What do you mean?” Freya sighed, “I don’t know yet. It just feels off. Besides, there you go. Mate just promised never to hurt you physically OR emotionally. Which means he won’t reject you. He can’t. He just promised.”
I reminded her, “He also promised Jason he would reject me. What if this hurts him?” Freya sighed, “You don’t know he really did that. Besides, we already discussed the loophole. You are still Ashley Griffen. Besides, Jason could’ve been hurting and he didn’t want you to come home and see if Xander was really yours.”
I bristled, “I’ve always known that he was mine.” Freya chuckled, “I know.” I startled a little because she didn’t question that I knew. In fact, she knew that I knew. That was weird. Most people assumed I was a kid with a crush. Even the wolves.
My head was such a mess and my tears started all over again. This could work….really actually work now. It was unquestionable now that I was Drake McAlister’s daughter. Maybe…..if I stayed out of Red Run’s way….they wouldn’t fight me being with Xander.
I didn’t have to go to events or meetings there. It stopped being my home four years ago when Alpha Peter banished me. Xander made assurances to me. If only the problem was my lack of a wolf….it was far more complicated than my wolf being locked away.
I never really considered my lack a wolf the problem with Xander since I’d still been freakishly good at fighting without one. I was still a Lead Female Warrior. In fact, I was the youngest Lead Warrior ever …male or Female.
Freya linked, “Because we are special.” Sure. Special. That was me….the freak of a wolf. I asked Freya, “Will silver and wolfsbane affect me now?” Freya answered, “No.” Then she clammed up. I didn’t want to upset her since I’d just gotten her so….I physically forced myself to not keep talking.
Xander referred to our email where I’d said he was hot. Dang it….He had to read that part? Freya laughed but didn’t say anything on insight from Oden about that. She told me, “I’m actually a little tired. I need to rest. It was exhausting working through that barrier. I’ll be around though. I won’t leave you again.” I sighed in relief.
I focused on Xander. Gosh…he was like photoshopped or something. Definitely sculpted by the gods… for sure. He kissed me again. My thought trending towards touching him. Which was different. Freya snorted, “It’s natural.” I replied, “Not for me.” I wanted to lick every inch of him She purred, “That’s a great idea.”
He called me beautiful again and stopped talking. Freya hummed, “He’s normal.” Yes, well comments about my body usually followed a guy saying they wanted to have sex with me. Lux was respectful and playful about it, but that was the closet I’d gotten to flirting.
To be fair, he flirted…I didn’t…because I just only ever wanted Xander. I knew I wanted to just be here with him and forget the real world. I wanted to forget why as Melanie McAlister I couldn’t be with my Xander. I wanted to be in this bubble….with him.
To my shock, he agreed. Freya said, “He is our mate. He will do anything to make us happy. Plus, he knows.” I asked, “DidOden say they knew?” She admitted, “No.” I hummed, “So, he doesn’t know.” She argued, “I think he does.” Thinking was not knowing.
I pondered his words again. He’d said the words what I wanted. I couldn’t remember the last time an Alpha had said that to me. I couldn’t stop myself from kissing him…. Gosh…he was perfect. Xander pulled back all too soon. I frowned then smelled other people in the room.
Sierra linked me, “One, I can’t believe we actually got into a room without you noticing. You’re already relaxed. More than ever. I like it. Second, kissing nice! I like it. You went from never being kissed to making out. I’m so here for this.” I blushed.
We discussed some valid point regarding the weather. I sighed. I did actually have money, but what I had went to my experiments and the resistance. I could get myself a coat and Sierra could get whatever she wanted.
I just didn’t get myself new things anymore. My money went to important things that didn’t involve things I wanted that couldn’t be used for the Resistance. Freya snorted, “Mate is paying.” No. Freya reasoned, “He’s insisting,” I retorted, “Well, he doesn’t understand. Once he finds out who I really am….he’d think I was taking advantage of him. I don’t want his money.”
Sierra linked, “Come on. Do this for yourself, for once.” I felt like I did was repeat myself. I retorted, “He doesn’t know who I am! He will be upset about this later. I won’t take advantage of him.” Sierra argued, “He wants to do it. You don’t know he doesn’t know who you are. I’ve seen pictures of you when you were younger. While you look different you also look the same.”
I disagreed. He couldn't know who I was. ILYX’s probability program told me that. Freya reasoned, “It’s still not based on our mate’s confirmed words. Just hearsay.” I tried to compromise, but none of them were having any of it.
Sierra shouted, “AH HA! You’re going to cave because he said it would make him happy.” Fine. I’d let him buy a coat. Freya snorted, “You should probably let the probabilities you love tell you how you’re not only getting a coat.” Well, I didn’t want to think about those right now. She chuckled.
Xander popped us out and kissed me again. I needed to get a handle on this because when he kissed me….the earth stopped moving. Everything stopped…even my brain…which was odd…my brain didn’t even stop when I slept.
The fact were in, I was screwed. Eventually he stopped wanting me to go shop. I didn’t want to leave him. My feet felt like lead. I don't know how long this could all last. We were in Switzerland so we’d probably make it the full two weeks without someone outing my real name. I just didn’t want to spend a second apart from him.
Sierra linked me, “The faster we get done, the faster we are back in their arms.” I turned and walked away. I let her fill my arms up with clothes. I told her, “We don’t need all this.” Sierra snorted, “Phil told me what your Xander would likely have us doing. So, for once you’re wrong. We do need all this.”
She touched my hand and linked, “Are you ok? You were right all along. He’s yours.” I shook myself, “I knew that.” Sierra nodded. I added, “Things could be different….I do actually have a wolf.” She hugged me, “I know, girl. That’s a mind fuck but she’s here now.”
She whispered, “We are going to be together for centuries now. It’s you and me forever with our mates.” It was her and Phil unquestioningly for centuries. I was a question mark. Freya growled, “No we aren’t.”
I assured Sierra, “I’ll challenge your dad when we get back….then you can go. You run to Phil and never look back. Promise me, Si.” Sierra frowned arguing, “We can go together.”I shook my head saying, “I’ll meet up with Xander and explain after his mission. Then it will be his choice.”
Sierra nodded, “Fine. You can have your moment but then we will be together for centuries. That’s the rumors with pack that have Fairy’s.” I snorted, “It’s not a rumor. It’s true.” I was destined to live a long and probably very lonely life.
