Page 59 of Just Like Starting Over
“She gets excited about the possibilities and can be more adventurous than clients expect. I’m trying to keep that genie in the jar this time.”
“Because you want to stay in Empire.”
There’s no question in his voice but I nod. “I do.”
He pulls me down for a quick but thorough kiss. “I want you to stay in Empire, too, Sylvia,” he whispers against my temple, his tone filled with a heat that makes me shiver.
Turns out there’s nothing plain and simple about making love with Mike. It’s wonderful and immersive and complicated and addictive. I don’t want to have this conversation. Not right now.
I wanted this and only this, but his tone gives me a feeling that Mike wants more.
I couldn’t survive that heartbreak a second time.
I’m not sure I can resist him if he asks for more now.
I start to get up before he demands any promises, but Mike isn’t going to let me run. He gets up and swings me into his arms again, stealing another triumphant kiss. I can’t complain about this at all. I love being held against him. I love the prospect of another round. I feel as if I’ve dodged a bullet and that calls for a celebration. I wind myself around him and kiss him hungrily, making sure conversation is a distant option.
“There has to be a washroom,” he says eventually, looking around my studio as if one will magically reveal itself.
“Let’s use Merrie’s, but be quick,” I suggest and he nods. He pauses in the doorway but there’s no sound from downstairs. I point and he carries me to Merrie’s apartment. The doors are open and there are no lights on. Mike moves quickly to the washroom, turns on the lights and shuts the door.
We wash up together, taking turns rinsing each other down, pausing for some more hot kisses, then Mike backs me into the wall. I’m trapped between him and the tiles, which is glorious. He locks one arm around my waist and the other rises to cup my breast. His thumb slides across the nipple with just the right amount of force, and I gasp.
“That thumb has been to sex camp,” I manage to say.
His smile flashes. “That thumb tells no tales.” He bends to kiss my nipple, then suckles it a little, grazing it with his teeth and generally driving me out of my mind. I’m writhing against him, when he stops to whisper against my skin.
“What now, Sylvia?” he asks, his voice husky, and my mouth goes dry. Those blue eyes are very very close and his expression is intent.
I am simmering and impatient, yet can’t look away. “I think you should eat me.”
“I will,” he says with welcome resolve. “But after that?”
“I could go down on you.”
“And after that?”
“Back into the studio, I guess, maybe to try the chair…”
He kisses me to silence and I almost forget the question. “Tomorrow, Sylvia. What happens next? Where do we go from here?”
I try to step out of his embrace and this time, Mike lets me go. I grab a towel as my dread rises. “Why do I have the feeling there’s a right answer?”
I feel him behind me, watching, motionless, probably not even blinking. “There’s your answer and my answer. You can’t blame me for hoping they’re the same.”
He’s too serious, too focussed, and I just can’t go there yet. Maybe not ever.
“I don’t want more than this right now.”
I hear him catch his breath but he doesn’t speak.
I turn to face him but he’s frowning at the floor, looking like a god disappointed in the weakness of mortals. “Mike, I can’t want more.” His lips tighten, but I reach out and touch his shoulder. “Not from you, but not from anybody. I still have to get Sierra through high school and off to college. I still have to help Una get through her treatment. I still don’t know if Merrie and I can make the café work…”
“You don’t believe you’re allowed to want more than temporary satisfaction.”
“I don’t have time for a relationship.”
He sighs, and it sounds like it’s coming from the depths of his soul, then he steps back. I miss his proximity and his attention immediately.
