Page 8 of Saving Me
“You seem fit to me,” I angle my head and look at him. “I’m surprised you couldn’t keep up.”
“I’m wearing dress shoes in the sand and have been eating and drinking all night. I think I kept up pretty well, considering.” He stands up and runs a hand through his dark hair.
I noticed when I came back to his table that he didn’t bother with a jacket this time. His white sleeves are rolled up now, fitting tight against the black ink. I pull my gaze away and focus on the ocean, hoping it will bring me a sense of peace.
“Why did you follow me?” I ask quietly.
“Truthfully, I have no fucking idea. I’m not used to doing the chasing,” he chuckles. “Ever since I saw you at the wedding, I can’t get you out of my head, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
He steps closer, and every part of me wants to run in the other direction, but I can’t. My feet feel like they are cemented into the sand.
“You confuse the hell out of me,” he says, studying me. “One minute, you’re looking at me with such longing in your eyes that all I want to do is take you in my arms and never let you go.” He takes another step closer, and my heart and mind rage a battle inside me. “Then, in the next minute, you are running in the opposite direction like you can’t get away from me fast enough.”
He takes the final step toward me, and the air around us becomes thick as our energies blend together. Watching me carefully, he slowly lifts his hand and brushes back the hair that escaped my ponytail.
“I followed you because every part of my being wants to run toward you.”
“This can’t happen,” I whisper. “Whatever this is between us can’t happen.”
His thumb brushes across my bottom lip, and I resist the urge to taste him. He leans closer and cups my neck with his hand. “Your body is telling me otherwise,” he breathes against my ear. His warm breath caresses me like a second skin. “If you’re going to run from me after tonight, at least leave your taste on me so I have something to remember you by.”
One kiss wouldn’t hurt, would it?
He’s right because, after tonight, our paths are very unlikely to cross. We live in entirely different worlds. I find myself parting my lips, and a deep growl vibrates from him when he realizes what it means.
“Just one kiss,” I whisper. His hands capture the sides of my face, and I allow myself to lean into his touch.
Just this once, I pretend I’m someone else, and the reality waiting for me when I return to my tiny apartment doesn’t belong to me. I’m going to allow myself to feel something that no other man has been able to pull out of me. The one tiny part of me, still hidden in shadows, fighting to find the light.
His lips finally touch mine, and it’s like an ember that finally takes a flame. He’s soft at first, but I know he’s holding back because I can feel his muscles straining against me, fighting to stay in control. This should scare the hell out of me, but all I feel is him. My tongue hesitates before swiping it across his bottom lip.
A deep moan escapes his body as his tongue invades mine. I feel everything in this kiss. Everything I always wanted but knew I could never have. My hands find his back as I hold him tight, wanting to crawl inside him where it feels safe and warm. He presses further into me, and a moan escapes when I feel him hard against my stomach.
His mouth devours me like I’m the one thing he’s craving and can’t get enough of. When he pulls on my lip with his teeth and finally breaks away, we both are panting hard. His hands stay locked around my face, his fingers digging into the back of my head.
Reality slams back into me just like I knew it would as panic starts to swell inside me. I try to pull back from his grasp, but he holds me tight.
“Don’t go.” The plea in his voice is like a knife to the heart. “Just stay the night with me. We don’t have to do anything. We can just talk. I’m just…I’m not ready to let you go. Whatever it is that you are scared of, we can figure it out. You can trust me.”
Fear creeps in so suddenly that I feel myself start to shake in his arms. “I can’t. I’ve got to go.” I push out of his grasp and stumble backward. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I was selfish, and I wasn’t thinking of your feelings.”
“I don’t give a fuck about my feelings, and I sure as hell don’t regret that kiss. I just…I want to make things better for you.” He sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “I know that makes no sense since we just met, but I can’t shake the feeling that my whole life has led me here, to this moment…to be standing in front of you.”
“I’m not the girl you need,” I say sadly, wishing it were another lifetime and things were different. “If you want to make things better, then you need to let me go,” I manage to whisper the words between my lips when all they want to do is ask him to make it better…to take it all away.
I soak him in one last time and watch the battle in his greys as he fights with the emotions swirling in them. I try to commit him to memory so I can always keep him close, then I turn and walk away.
CHAPTER FOUR
JAKE
Iwatch her leave, and every fiber of my being wants to run after her and make her stay with me. Make her understand that I can fight her demons for her. I’ll slay every fucking one of them to bring the light back in her eyes.
I stay put, though, because I’m afraid if I push too hard, she’ll disappear. I need to let her think that she has the upper hand and that this is it between us. I know the truth, though, and it’s far from over.
By the time I get back to the reception, it’s in full swing. Everyone is out on the dance floor laughing and having a good time. I head to the bar, needing something to dull this ache in my body. I still taste her on my lips and feel her body pressed up against me. I knew she would fit perfectly against me. She was made for me.
Grabbing my bourbon, I sit back down at our table. I see Ryder dancing with Ryland and Miles twirling some blonde around. No doubt he’s on the prowl for someone to warm his bed tonight.
