Page 36 of Unbreak Me
I grip the door handle tightly and nod my head before leaving without looking back. If she only knew what having her here at my business is doing to me. This was our dream, and for years, I thought it was gone…that I would have to do it without her. This fake trial will hopefully give me the time I need to see if she’s really in it with me for good this time. Everything I have ever wanted is right within reach, but the truth is, I’m still too damn scared and angry to take it.
“Areyou sure she can handle two kids, okay?” I ask Travis for the millionth time. Miles’s band is playing in our town tonight at everyone’s favorite local bar on the water, Captain Jack’s. Travis and Sophia insisted we all get out of the house for the night tohave a little fun. Fun is the last thing I’m feeling as I eye the babysitter that Sophia and Eve are talking to.
“She’s got to be close to eighty by now. Miss Beth babysatus, for Christ's sake. What if she falls and can’t get back up?”
“Relax, will you,” Travis laughs. “We used her last summer when Mom recommended her. Max loved her. She walks the beach every single day and does water aerobics at the Y three times a week. She’s healthy as a horse and will probably live well into her nineties. Ryland is already sleeping in Jake’s room anyway, so technically, she only has to handle Max until he goes to bed.”
“Fine,” I sigh, rubbing my hand roughly over my face.
“You good?” Travis eyes me over the kitchen island. “You look a little tense tonight. Is everything okay at work? Eve sounded like she was loving the job when I talked to her about it yesterday. Is it not working out?”
“No. She fits in just like I knew she would. The guys love her, and for the past two days, she’s done more in that office than I have been able to get done in months.”
“So what’s the problem then?”
The problem is that I’m finding it harder and harder to stay away. For the past two days, I’ve resorted to avoiding her at all costs. When I’m home, I make sure Ryland is always with me so we are not alone, and when she goes to sleep, I head back to work or the gym until I know Eve has gone to bed.
“You are going to have to face the truth eventually,” Travis says, quietly studying me when I don’t answer him.
“Which is?” I grip the countertop in front of me and raise my eyebrow at him.
“That you love her, and no matter how scared you are of losing her again or how angry you are about her leaving and not telling you about Ryland, you still love her despite it all.” I look over at Eve and watch her laugh at something Miss Bethsaid. She’s wearing a white sundress tonight, and her long hair is swept up in a high ponytail. I see her slender throat move as her hand plays with the gold sun charm on the necklace she is wearing. She thought she had lost it and hasn’t taken it off once since she found it in one of the storage boxes I brought home. It was a gift I gave her the night she moved in with me.
“Is there any part of you that could walk away from her because of everything that has happened?”
I look back at Travis. “No,” I say without hesitation.
“Then let her in, Ryder. You need to let her see what you are feeling…the good and the bad. She can’t help fix what’s broken if you aren’t even willing to show her how deep the break is.”
I let Travis’s words sink in as the girls say goodbye to Miss Beth and meet us in the kitchen. I feel Eve’s eyes on me as we walk to Travis’s truck. I know she senses my mood and is trying to get a read on me. We’ve never tried to hide our emotions from each other in the past, and truthfully, I don’t like it one bit. I miss the closeness we once had.
I hold the door open for her as she gets up in the back seat. Her dress hikes up from the height of the truck, and her upper thigh comes into view. I get a small glimpse of white lace underneath as I grip the door harder. I may not have all my emotions figured out right now, but one keeps staring me blatantly in the face and has never stopped. I still want her with every part of my being. I won’t be able to resist much longer. I just hope she’s ready because when I do let her fully back in, there’s no chance in hell I’m ever living without her again.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
EVE
Iglance over at Ryder and feel the tension swirling around the vehicle. I wish I could tell what he’s thinking, but he’s doing a damn good job of hiding his emotions from me. For the past two days, he’s been avoiding me like the plague. He makes sure we are never alone, whether it’s Bobby at work or Ryland at the house.
I’m trying my hardest to give him space and the time he needs, but the bottom line is I miss him. I miss the way we were together and how we never hid our emotions from each other. I miss being his and how I felt in his arms. I miss my best friend. I miss…my Ryder.
I feel his eyes on me and turn to meet his greys. The backseat feels small with his big frame beside me. His thigh brushes against mine, and I want to cry from the contact. It’s so hard to be so close to something you want so badly and not be able to have it. A frown appears on his beautiful face as his eyes dart to my lips. I release my bottom lip from my teeth, which I was subconsciously biting on. His jaw hardens as he looks away.
Sighing, I turn my head to look out the window again.
“Did you hear what I said?” I notice Sophia looking at me from the front seat.
“I’m sorry. What was that?” I was so deep in thought I wasn’t paying attention to the conversation around me. As always, my focus is on the man beside me, who is obviously in his brooding faze right now.
“I was just asking if this was the first time you have seen Miles play?” Sophia looks at Ryder, and a small smile plays on her lips as she meets my eyes again. Anyone within a mile radius of us would be able to feel the chaotic energy between us. I’m glad someone is finding humor in this.
“I only saw him play once in front of a crowd. The rest was just garage band practices and a few parties we went to with friends.”
“Where did you see him play?”
“Prom,” I say quietly.
“Oh, fun! Did you guys go together?” I meet Ryder’s eyes, and for a brief moment, I see what I’m feeling when I think back to that evening. It was the night I truly became his in every sense of the word and knew I would never love another the way I loved him.
