Page 27 of Unbreak Me
Air rushes out of my lungs when I hear the door close, leaving me standing there. Part of me wants to run after her and beg her never to leave me again, and the other part of me wants to bend her over my knee and punish her for leaving me in the first place. It’s the second part that has me walking back to my bedroom alone.
I’m drenchedin sweat as I do one more rep in the gym. I know I’m pushing my body, but the burn feels good. I tossed and turned all night last night, knowing Eve was just on the other side of the wall. I swear I heard every little sigh she made in hersleep. My body is attuned to her every movement. It was like having your biggest temptation placed in front of you but too afraid to touch it because of the power it has over you.
I set the weights down and glance at my phone. Ryland should be getting up soon. I left her sleeping peacefully this morning as I quietly left for the garage. I still can’t believe I have a daughter. Every time I look at her, I worry that this is all just a dream I’ll wake up from, and they both will be gone. She’s the perfect blend of me and Eve and a constant reminder of the love we once shared. Fear grips me hard when I think about ever losing her again. I know Eve said she would never leave again, but can I trust her?
I bypass going through the main house and use the back door of the garage that leads to the pool. I love my family, but I’m not in the mood to hash out my feelings with them this morning. Tonight, I should probably call my parents and Savi, but right now, I just want to focus on my daughter.
I pull the key out of my pocket and unlock the door. I locked it when I left, just in case Ryland figures out how to open it. I’m going to have to childproof a few things around here to make me feel more at ease.
Her eyes light up when she sees me. “Muffin,” she grins, holding up a part of the muffin. I walk over to the kitchen table and grin back at her. She’s sitting in her booster seat, and her tray is covered in muffin crumbs.
Bending down, I kiss the top of her head. Her hair is still messy from sleeping, and it’s the most adorable thing I have ever seen.
“You have strawberries, too?” I ask, pointing to one on her tray. “You are one lucky girl.” She picks up a piece of strawberry and holds it out to me. Laughing, I open my mouth, and she feeds it to me. “Thank you, Rybug. So yummy.”
“Yummy,” she grins, fisting one and stuffing it into her mouth. I made sure to fill the fridge with her favorite foods. I didn’t want us to have to go to the main kitchen every time we wanted something. I selfishly want this one-on-one time with my daughter, and sitting down to eat breakfast with her every day seems like a good start.
I feel Eve’s eyes on me, and I brace myself as I meet those blues focused on me. We haven’t spoken or seen each other since I told her to leave the shower last night.
She’s standing by the kitchen island with a cup of coffee next to her. Her hair is also messy from sleeping, but unlike my daughter, there is nothing adorable about it. She has it up in a bun, and some of her auburn waves have escaped, framing her face. She hasn’t put her contacts in yet, so she’s wearing her dark-rimmed glasses, looking sexy as fuck in them. How the hell am I ever going to get a grip and sort these feelings out when she’s walking around in front of me looking like a goddamn sex siren.
I narrow my eyes when I see what she’s wearing. “Is that my t-shirt? I thought I lost it.” It comes out way rougher than I want, and she glances down nervously at it.
“Yes. I had to leave a lot of my clothes when I left, so I don’t have a lot of options. I’m sorry I stole it. You can have it back if you want,” she says quickly. “I just…” She fidgets with the hem of the shirt that hits her mid-thigh, revealing more leg to me, causing my body to react. “It smelled like you, and I took it,” she says softly.
I take off my backward hat and roughly run a hand through my hair before putting it back on. Images of her wearing my shirt while she was alone and pregnant enter my mind, and I bite back the anger of how unfair this all is. My family kept me from drowning, and she had a shirt that smelled like me.
“I don’t want it back,” I sigh. “Keep it. I need to towel off before I can eat with Ryland.” I avoid her eyes as I walk to the bathroom. Gripping the sink, I try to release the tension in my body that’s suffocating me. It’s not her fault, I remind myself. She was only nineteen, and I know how scared she was of her parents. She never went against them until I came along. I was her strength, she once told me, and to know she had to face them alone, all the while protecting our daughter, makes me see red. I would like nothing more than to be able to tell her dad exactly what I think of him right now.
I’ve got to find a way to move past this. I need to keep reminding myself that all that matters now is I have them back. I need to focus on Ryland and building that bond that was taken from us in the beginning. She’s all that matters right now, and once my emotions are back in control, I can focus on Eve and take back what’s mine.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
EVE
He’s still mad at me. I see the battle in his eyes every time he looks at me. Part of him wants me, and the other part wants to punish me. I get it. My parents aren’t here, and I’m the easy target. I’m the one who left. It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t by choice…I still left. Truthfully, I would gladly welcome any sort of punishment if it means this guilt will go away. It’s like a chain around my heart, and I need him to yell at me or do anything that will allow him to get all his anger out. We aren’t going to be able to move past it if we don’t acknowledge it in the first place.
I caught a glimpse of it in the shower last night. I shouldn’t have gone in there, but I woke up when I heard the shower turn on, and when I saw the door cracked, the temptation was too much. Once I saw him stroking himself and his beautiful body on display, I couldn’t move. My eyes hadn’t seen him like this for three years, and I hungrily took in every inch of him. When I heard him softly moan my name, nothing could have stopped me from going to him. Like a moth to a flame, I would gladly risk it all for one touch.
I felt his anger brimming under the surface, but I knew he would never really hurt me. I’ll proudly wear the bruises on my thighs as a reminder of how badly we both wanted each other in that moment. I’ll wear a thousand more if it means breaking through those walls and getting back what we lost.
He walks back in and avoids my eyes, heading straight to the coffee pot. I don’t bother handing him the creamer because he likes his coffee black. I watch him sit down next to Ryland as he grabs a muffin and some strawberries, eating her favorite breakfast with her.
I leave them to have this time alone and go to the bathroom to get ready. I find a white tank top and some cutoff shorts to throw on. I’m really going to have to get some more clothes. I wasn’t lying to Ryder when I said I didn’t have a lot. I didn’t want to leave behind all of Ryland’s baby memories, so that didn’t leave much room for me in the suitcase. I wanted to bring as much to Ryder as I could so he could feel like he was there. I plan on showing him once the timing is right.
I run a brush through my hair and apply some mascara and lipgloss. I’ve never worn a whole lot of makeup, and I wear even less now that I have Ryand. I’m lucky if I get a shower in on most days, let alone put makeup on.
When I walk back out, Ryder has Ryland out of her booster and all cleaned up.
“I have to run an errand later, but I thought we could swim for a bit before she takes her nap. No one is working today, so they’re all headed to the pool.”
“That sounds like fun. Ryland will love that. I’ll get her suit.” I walk over to the dresser by her bed and find one that Ryder got her. I want to ask him what his errand is, but I stop myself. If he wanted me to know, he would tell me. I quickly change Ryland into her swim diaper and suit while Ryder puts on some board shorts.
Once her sunscreen is on, he scoops her up in his arms and talks to her while we walk outside. I find a lounge chair and take a seat to watch them in the pool. I didn’t bring a swimsuit with me, and I make a mental note of things I need to buy.
First things first, though, I need to find a job to be able to do that. I get out my phone and pull up Blue Haven’s website. I’m relieved when I see a section for job openings. I want to stick close to here, preferably in the downtown area, so I can beg Jake and Ryder for a ride every once in a while since they both work in that area until I can afford a car. I skim through the listing, hoping to find something like I did in Seattle where I can bring Ryland with me or, better yet, something I can do remotely from home.
I glance up from my phone when I hear Ryland’s laugh filter through the air. Ryder has her on his shoulders, and he dips in the water, getting her legs wet. Jake and Miles have joined them. I smile at the scene and go back to my search.
