Page 15 of Connected By Love
Lying back on the bed, I snuggle deep and can smell his intoxicating smell on my sheets.
He’s gone.
Just like that.
My body still feels him inside me as I bury my face in the covers. A single tear slides down, and I angrily wipe it away. I will not cry over something that I knew going into would just be a night. We’re both adults and agreed to this. I have my one night to remember, and for now, that will have to be enough.
Chapter Eight
Travis
See you around?Could I have been more of a dick? Jesus, it took everything in me to walk away from her when she was lying there wrapped up in her sheets, all sexy as hell with her messed-up hair and swollen lips. She looked like every guy’s fantasy of what a girl that’s just been satisfied would look like.
I immediately wanted to go to her and pull her against me—to just breathe her in again. That’s how I knew I couldn’t stay a minute longer, and I needed to get out fast. The more time I spend with her, the more I want to let her into my life, and my life comes with two people’s hearts at stake. I was deceived once, and I won’t let it happen again.
I let the wind whip at my face as I go faster than I should on this deserted road late at night. It’s like my ghosts from my past are chasing me, and I’m trying to outrun the fear.
Pulling into my driveway, I park in the garage and go inside, heading straight to the bar. I pour a double bourbon and hear my brother laugh softly in the dark.
“Rough night?” I turn toward my brother and see Jake on the couch, watching a movie.
“I thought you would be asleep by now. Where’s Miles?”
“He went to bed about an hour ago. I think the zoo wore him out, too.” He grins at me before taking in my appearance and frowning. “You look pissed. What happened?”
I take my drink over to the couch and drop down next to him. “I was with the girl who kneed me in the balls and bit my lip.”
“Oh, shit. Did she do it again?” Jake’s grinning from ear to ear, and I can’t help but give him a small smile.
“No. But I did bite her lip back this time.” Memories of kissing her come flooding back to me. She moaned when I bit her lip, and I feel my dick twitch at the memory. The sounds she makes will forever haunt my mind.
“So you kissed her again? I knew you liked her. You going back for seconds tells me everything I need to know.”
“There’s nothing to tell. I gave myself this one night, and that’s that.” I take a long sip of bourbon and feel it burn all the way down.
“So you’re okay with never seeing her again?”
“I have to be,” I say softly. “I fell hard once before, and she turned out to be a completely different person than who I thought she was. I won’t bring someone into my and Max’s life that can do the same. He’s older now. He would get hurt.”
“So you’re just going to be single for the rest of your life?”
“I’ve survived the last five years with just the casual hookup.” I shrug my shoulders and take another sip.
“That’s the most fucked up way of thinking I’ve ever heard. If you feel something for this girl, you should go for it. You don’t have to get Max involved right away. Feel her out for a bit and make sure it’s real before introducing them. If she’s worth getting to know, then she will understand.”
“And then what? I introduce her to Max and take the chance she won’t leave us like Addy did? I was with her for five fucking years before I realized she wasn’t who I thought she was. Why did I not see that I would never be more important than her career—that she was the type of person who could walk out on a newborn as if he meant nothing to her other than a burden she had to deal with? I didn’t fucking see it.” The pain slices through me at the thought of Max being left again by someone else he cares about.
“None of us saw Addison for who she really was. She had us all fooled. Deep down, I would like to think there’s still a good person in there, but the modeling world changed her. You can’t blame yourself for not seeing it. Drugs, money, and greed change even the best people.”
I rub my hand over my face at the rush of emotions I’m feeling. I shouldn’t have gone over there tonight. I didn’t expect to feel this way, and now I’ve complicated things. She probably hates me by now with how I handled leaving. One minute, I’m deep inside her, and the next, I’m running like a scared idiot out the door.
Just talking about Addy sends me into a turmoil of emotions, telling me I’m nowhere near ready to try again. I’m still hanging on to all that anger and fear she left me in.
“I just don’t have it in me right now to take that chance again.” I have a feeling the girl I left tonight would ruin me far worse than Addy ever did if it didn’t work out. She’s found her way into the deepest part of me, and I’ve got to find a way to release the hold before it’s too late.
I wipethe ink from his arm before sitting back to take a look at my work. He wanted something to represent his Irish heritage,so I designed all the elements he wanted into a swirl of designs and patterns that capture everything he wants to feel when looking at it.
“It looks good, man. This is some of my best work yet.” I grin at him and give him a mirror while I remove my gloves and start cleaning up my area.
