Page 67 of Connected By Stars
I run a frustrated hand through my hair to gather my thoughts before answering her.
“Why have you been avoiding me? We always talk through everything, even when we’re mad at each other.”
“If it’s not obvious to you why I wouldn’t want to say a single thing to you, then we really don’t have anything to talk about.” She starts to move toward the door but I block her.
“Damn it, would you just for two seconds quit walking awaywhen I’m trying to explain. Did you even read the texts I sent you?”
“I read enough. I don’t want to hear your apologies. Save it for another girl.”
“I don’t want another girl.”
“Well, your dick says otherwise, seeing as it was shoved inside someone else the day you left me crying in bed, begging for you to stay. The bed wasn’t even fucking cold yet before you moved on like I didn’t mean a thing to you. I was just like all the other girls. I guess you can cross me off your list now of those you want to fuck.”
I flinch at her words before I back her up against the wall. I don’t know whether I’m more angry or hurt that she would ever think I would do that to her. That she could ever be just a fuck to me.
“If you hadn’t been so stubborn and jumped to the worst possible conclusion about me, you would have found out by my texts that I went to Emma’s. Alone. I panicked about what happened and ended up getting shit-faced drunk. I didn’t even remember sending the text to Sophia until I read it the next morning while trying to figure out why I got ago-to-helltext from you.”
“I don’t believe you.” She shakes her head and tries to push me away, but I’m not budging.
“I would never lie to you.” I lean down next to her ear. “But you lied to me.” I pull on her earlobe with my teeth and hear her gasp.
“I…I didn’t lie.”
“You told me you didn’t want me anymore. That Saturday night was a mistake. To leave it in the past and forget about it. But see, I don’t believe you.” I lick her neck and suck softly as her head falls back on the wall. “Your body craves my touch just like I crave yours. One night with you will never be enough, andI sure as hell don’t ever want to forget about it.” I hear her softly cry, and I lift my head to catch her tears with my thumbs as I thread my fingers in her hair.
“Hey, don’t cry.” I bring her to my chest and hug her. She buries her face in my shirt and sobs. “It’s okay, Bell. Everything is going to be okay.” I rub my hands over her back to try and soothe her. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can make it better.”
“I just…I…all of this is my fault. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you that I was a virgin. If I hadn’t kept that secret, then you wouldn’t have left the next day. It wasn’t a big deal to me, and I wasn’t thinking how it would make you feel by not knowing. All I could think about was wanting to be with you so badly.”
“It’s not your fault. I’m not mad at you for not telling me. I just wish I would have done things differently. I would never want to hurt you, which is why I freaked out. It had only been one night, and I already had fucked everything up.”
“You didn’t, I swear. Saturday night was perfect. Please don’t take that away from us.”
“It was perfect for me, too. I’m sorry I left and lied to Sophia about where I was.”
“Why did you lie?” She looks up at me, and the pain in her eyes breaks me in two.
“I don’t know,” I sigh. “It’s all a bit fuzzy, but Sophia asked me if I was with someone, and I guess I just got upset that everyone always assumes that, even though they have every right to. It just rubbed me the wrong way because I want to change for you, and her saying that made me doubt myself. I let her think it because it made the most sense why I wouldn’t be home and didn’t text her. It was something she would easily believe. I regret it now because it hurt you, and I wasn’t thinking about Sophia telling you and what that would do to you.”
“I guess we both did things we weren’t proud of. I lied, too. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me. I wanted you to think thatit meant nothing to me when, truthfully, it meant everything to me.”
I pull her into another hug. “It meant everything to me, too,” I whisper in her hair. I breathe in her scent and close my eyes. “God, I’ve missed you. I’ve been haunted by vanilla and sunshine the last four days. I could smell you everywhere I went. You’re all I thought about.”
“It hurt so much,” she whispers into my chest. “I just had to get away. I couldn’t deal with the pain and seeing you again.”
“I’m so sorry for what that lie made you feel. I just wish you would have heard me out instead of thinking the worst of me. I would never do that to you. Let’s make a pact that if one of us is ever upset or mad over something, we’ll never run or avoid each other again. That was the worst five days of my life.”
“Deal.” She looks up at me and smiles and it’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. I’ve missed everything about her, and I don’t want to be apart from her for another second. I brush my lips against her before sliding my tongue along her lower lip. She sighs, and I take that moment to dive deep and show her how badly I’ve missed her.
She desperately clings to me, tangling her tongue with mine as we frantically try to erase the pain of the last few days. I press myself against her, and we both moan at the contact.
“I want to take care of you like I should have done Sunday morning instead of leaving,” I whisper against her lips. “Let me take care of you. I need to know you’re real and here with me now. I want to show you what I should have done instead of walking away,” I say again, feeling the desperate need to erase how I responded.
“I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
Groaning, I pick her up, and she wraps her legs around me as I walk toward my master bath. Not wanting to let her go forfear she’ll disappear again, I turn on the shower with one hand and let the water drench us both.
I’m glad I decided on the apartment with the bigger master bath and bedroom. I love the white marble shower and the fact it’s big enough for two shower heads on either side. I don’t use the big garden tub, but that might have to change as images of Bell naked and covered in bubbles appear in my head.
