Page 23 of Connected By Stars
“Need some help?” He looks at me warily as I walk up to him. He searches my face and must see what I’m feeling because his eyes narrow.
“What are you up to?”
“I just..” I stop, not knowing what to say. I reach out and put my hand on his heart and feel it beating wildly beneath his t-shirt. He closes his eyes as if in pain. “Why are you fighting this so hard? We’re two adults who want the same thing.”
He opens his eyes, and I can see the fear in them. “I can’t mess this up. You and your family mean too much to me. You deserve more than what I can give you right now, and I don’t even know if I am capable of doing more. I won’t take the chance of hurting you.”
“I’m a big girl. I can handle it.” I step closer and see him fighting it. “Please,” I whisper as my eyes start to shut and my lips part.
“You are playing with fire here, Bell,” he says in a low warning voice.
“I’m ready to be burned.”
“Fuck,” I hear him say seconds before his fingers dig in my hair and his lips crash into mine. He backs me up, and my back hits the wooden posts as he lifts me up. My legs circle his waist as I come in contact with sheer hardness.
I moan as his tongue explores mine. He taste just as good as I knew he would, but nothing prepared me for the sensations I would feel. A deep throbbing between my legs has me moaning again as I press myself against him.
I hear him growl as his hands find my ass, digging into my skin and holding me tightly against his hardness. He bites my lower lip before sucking hard. I thread my fingers through his beautiful hair and hang on tight as he invokes sensations in my body I never thought possible.
He pulls back and breathes hard as he grasps my face in his hands.
“This can’t happen again, Bell. Not when I haven’t figured shit out. I would rather die than ever hurt you. Noah’s my best friend, and I can’t just fuck his sister because I want to. I won’t do that to you.”
“Wait, what?” I ask him, hurt and confusion clearly evident on my face. “I can handle it. No one has to know.” I hate the desperation in my voice, but I’ve waited so long for this moment, and I just want him to take this ache away. I want to know what he can show me, what he can make me feel.
“I’ve never done more, Bell. I don’t know if I can,” he softly admits.
“We don’t have to have it all figured out right away. I know you would never intentionally hurt me. I trust you.”
“That’s the problem. I don’t trust myself. I just need time to figure some things out. I won’t put you in the category of all the other women I’ve been with. You deserve better than just a quick fuck to satisfy our needs.”
“I have a date on Sunday. I can’t just put my life on hold while you figure things out.” I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for him, and I’m so freaking tired of waiting.
“I know. And it’s not fair to you to wait for me while I get my shit together. Noah’s wedding’s coming up, and we can’t do anything until then. I don’t know how he’ll react, and I won’t take the chance that it will ruin this moment for him.” He slowly releases me, and I immediately feel the emptiness that it brings when I’m not touching him.
He brushes my hair back, and I stare at him, unsure what to say. I’m trying to process what just happened.
“Go on your date Sunday. Despite what I feel for Logan, he seems like a nice guy who has his shit together.”
“Are you serious right now? You really want me to go on a date with Logan? That’s really what you want?” I ask, my anger and frustration getting the better of me.
“Of course, I don’t want it, but I can’t give you the answers you need right now. It’s not fair to you to wait on me for something I’m not even sure I should let myself want. It’s not like we can go to this wedding as dates, anyway. He may be a good option for you.” His eyes plead with mine to understand.
“And what if I have a good time Sunday and Logan turns out to be what I want?”
I see him harden at the thought. “I guess that’s the chance I have to take.” He turns and starts to pick up the firewood.
I stare at his back, unblinking, trying to wrap my head around the fact that he wants me to give Logan a chance andtake him to the wedding. Does he already have a date? Is that what he’s trying to tell me? I break my stare, slowly turn around, and walk away. He wants me to have a date for the wedding—then I’ll get a date for the damn wedding. Let’s see how he feels when I’m in another man’s arms.
Chapter Ten
Maverick
I watch her walk away,and I feel like the shittiest person on the planet. Every part of me wants to run after her and tell her not to go on the date Sunday—to ask her to wait for me to come to terms with what I’m feeling, but I can’t have her wait for something that I’m not sure I’ll be able to give her.
I take a jagged breath and run my fingers through my hair in frustration. My body is still on fire from her touch, and I can taste her on my lips. It’s better than anything I’ve ever had or experienced. Her body fit perfectly against mine, and I could have kissed her like that forever. I pick up the firewood, needing to do something to stop these thoughts.
When I return to the bonfire, I see Skye and Cole stacking the chairs and putting the trash in bags. Sophia is putting sand over the fire. I go over to help and don’t see Bell anywhere.
