Page 61 of Inescapable Ties
It nearly made me have a heart attack - I thought he had been asleep. His eyes were closed and his breathing had been steady.
“You’re awake?!” I sputtered, rolling away from him.
He grabbed my lower back before I could get away and pulled me into him. Emilio hungrily kissed my lips, and I was breathless by the time he let go.
“Of course,” he said, his eyes now wide open. “Did you really think you would ever wake up before me?”
“I mean…maybe. Who the heck goes to bed at two in the morning and is up before seven thirty?”
“I don’t need that much sleep.”
As I realized he caught me staring, a deep pout formed on my lips. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and I quickly buried my face into his chest. His laughter filled the air, his body warm against mine like a human furnace. In that moment, I felt safe and secure, shielded from the outside world by the security of his embrace.
The two of us lay in silence, enjoying each other’s embrace. We both knew that Emilio would have to leave for work in a few hours, and we should enjoy the small amount of time we had to spend with one another.
I wasn’t sure why the thought popped into my head, or if I should even ask Emilio. However, I took a chance and asked him anyway.
“Hey,” I said hesitantly. “Have you ever gone looking for your mom?”
I noticed his body tense up, a clear sign I had made the wrong decision.
“Actually, never mind,” I started. “It was-”
“It’s fine, Jaws. I haven’t gone looking. If she doesn’t want me, I’m not going to force my way back into her life. But if she ever comes back, I would hear her out.”
“I don’t think she didn’t want you,” I mumbled, pressing my face into Emilio’s bare neck.
“Well, she left and didn’t come back. But it doesn’t matter,” he said. “We’ll have our own family.”
I was grateful for the cover of Emilio’s embrace, my face hidden against his neck. The redness in my cheeks must have been visible from space as he mentioned the possibility of us starting a family. In the early days of our marriage, the mere thought would have sent me running in the other direction. But now, with his strong arms around me and my feelings blossoming, it didn’t seem like such a daunting idea after all.
“Yeah,” I whispered back.
I didn’t know when to leave things alone. After Emilio had left for work, I couldn’t stop thinking about his mother. It didn’t make sense - why did she leave and not come back? Even if she despised her husband, it seemed impossible for a mother to hate her own child.
So, I started digging. I had accidentally found her name - Elisabetta - and birthday while searching for office supplies for an unrelated project. I also remembered that Emilio mentioned both his parents were born in NYC. It wasn’t much to go off of, but it was a start.
I grabbed my laptop and started with the most obvious place: Facebook. It had been forever since I had logged on, so much so that I couldn’t remember my password and had to reset it.
I searched all “Elisabetta Renzetti’s” in New York, but came up short. Desperate, I expanded my search to all the United States. I still could not find anything.
Grumbling to myself, I sat the laptop down next to me. If I was going to find her, that would have been the most likely place. But, just because it wasn’t easy, didn’t mean I was going to stop.
I spent the rest of the day searching various websites for any scrap of the whereabouts of Emilio’s mother. There was nothing. I was filled with dread as I checked the one place I had been avoiding, the place I did not want to find her at all. In the death records.
My search was half hearted; I was looking for something I somehow knew I was going to find. Sure enough, I stumbled across what I had been dreading.Elisabetta Renzetti.
She had passed away a while ago. I counted on my fingers and realized that Emilio must have been nine, the same age when she left him. Perhaps she didn’t intentionally leave him; maybe something terrible happened that prevented her from returning.
This was a lot of information to handle. Should I tell Emilio? It seemed he had made his peace with his mother leaving; this might bring up unwanted regrets and feelings.
My gaze lingered on the intricate patterns of the ceiling as I lay on the bed, lost in a trance of contemplation. My mind wrestled with a tough decision, each thought like a tangled knot that seemed impossible to untangle. It was consumed by the weight of my thoughts, pulling me deeper into a state of confusion and uncertainty.
Emilio’s arrival went unnoticed in my deep state of introspection, the sound of his footsteps and the creaking door blending seamlessly into the background.
“Whatcha doing?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I responded, a little too quickly.
