Page 67 of When We Fell Again
All I had to do was open it, take the hit, and…
My head fell back onto the bed, and I stared at the ceiling.
I won’t do it.
I can’t go back on everything I promised the rest of the band.
I’d be a selfish fucker if I did it again.
If Lex was here…
All the reasons I shouldn’t far outweighed the reasons I should.
I ought to bin it, flush it down the toilet, then go to bed and forget I’d ever even had it.
But I wasn’t that strong.
I reached for the packet and unwrapped it, leaning over and snorting the powder in one go.
Nausea hit me as the realisation that I’d let everyone down overcame me.
After a few minutes, those emotions disappeared, and I remembered why I enjoyed the high so much. I felt invincible. I could take on the world. And I could certainly take on Arlo Carmichael. Reaching for my phone, I had every intention of calling Lex. But I got distracted by a direct message on one of my socials.
An account I didn’t recognise had sent me a simple one-liner:Anytime you need any more, you know where to find me -F.
Fuck. What have I done?
CHAPTER28
Alexis
AvoidingArlo at the Swansea gig had been almost impossible, but I’d managed it. Anytime I knew I had to be near him, I made sure there was someone else with me; a sound tech, a roadie, whoever I could get. I got a few funny looks, but they were worth it compared to the alternative. We drove overnight from Swansea to Bristol for the penultimate date, at a football stadium, and went straight to the hotel. Exhausted from being on edge, I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Concern also prickled at me as I hadn’t been able to get hold of Jordan. We’d exchanged a few banal messages, nothing more significant than ‘hope all is okay’. Honestly, I couldn’t wait for this tour to be over.
I woke to the sound of gentle knocking on my hotel room door. Reminding me of the night Jordan and I had spent together after the new music launch party, a small smile crept over my face. Nowthathad been a good day. When the knocking became more insistent, I huffed out a breath and threw the duvet off. Stalking over to the door, I rearranged my face into a neutral expression, ready to deal with whoever was on the other side of it.
Pulling the door open a couple of inches, I poked my head through the gap.
“Surprise!”
My jaw dropped. Standing in front of me, holdall in one hand and a huge bunch of flowers in the other, was Jordan.
“What the…? How did you…?” Any further questions were cut short by Jordan’s lips meeting mine. I grabbed at his jacket, trying to keep my balance.
We stumbled back through the door, Jordan kicking it shut with one foot, still holding his bag and the flowers. Our kiss grew more intense and the things fell from Jordan’s hands as he pulled me flush against his body, his hands starting to roam underneath the t-shirt I wore. He moved us across the room towards the bed, sending us crashing down onto the mattress, him on top of me.
I drew back and stared up at him, noticing his brown eyes were over bright and wide. “Hi.”
“Hey.” He grinned, rolling over and leaning his head on one elbow. “Can I say that you look a hell of a lot better in that t-shirt than I do?” His gaze rolled over his Rockfield Studios t-shirt that I’d stolen from him the night I’d gone to dinner at his house before coming on tour. “Although, it would look even better on the floor.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “So, do you like your surprise?”
“My original question still stands. How did you know where I was?”
Sitting up, he shrugged off his jacket. “Babe, The Dicers tour dates are all over the internet. It didn’t take much.”
“But my hotel schedule isn’t!”
Jordan reached over and traced a finger along my jawline. “I spoke to Theo. He sent me the address, so it was a case of hopping on a train, then using my fantastic navigational powers to find this place. Okay, I got a taxi from the station.” The expression on his face told me he was proud of himself.
“I can’t believe Theo told you so easily.” I paused. “Wait, you didn’t tell him about Arlo, did you?”
