Page 36 of When We Fell Again
Whether it was the way his stare bored into me or the way he emphasisedold times,my nipples tightened. Memories of the night before flooded back into my mind, heat rushing between my legs. I swallowed hard. I couldn’t do this. Not here. Not in front of everyone.
Waving the spreadsheet at them, I tried to act light and carefree. “Theo’s got me pretty busy over the next few months.”
“That’s a shame.” Jordan’s gaze dropped to my breasts, where the evidence of his comment was clear to see.
I crossed my arms over my chest, practically squirming in my seat. “Anyway, I’m guessing you’re off to get ready for tonight. I’ll catch up with you afterwards.”
His mouth twitched. “You can count on it.”
After they’d left, I almost had to fan myself with Theo’s pile of papers.
“What’s going on with you and Jordan Bowie?” Claudia’s voice came from behind me before she sat down in the chair Theo had recently vacated.
“What makes you think there’s something going on?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” She sniggered. “All the meaningful looks, the little comments. Did something happen between you? Again?”
I certainly hadn’t told her about my history with Jordan, and I wouldn’t have thought he would have said anything either. Claudia and I weren’t close, and I was guarded about exactly how much to share with the band’s publicist.
“We’re friends. That’s it. I’m sure you know we knew each other at university.”
“More than friends from what I’ve heard.” She arched a brow. “Can’t have been easy coming out on tour with your ex and being together twenty-four-seven. Surely some of those old feelings must have resurfaced?”
I didn’t know what I felt, except for hot and stressed. I couldn’t pretend the night before hadn’t happened, but it didn’t mean I wanted the whole world to know about it. And it was just a kiss. A kiss that could have gone further, but I stopped that from happening.
“It’s been five years since we last saw each other. We’ve both changed since then, and it’s been a case of getting to know each other all over again.” I tried to explain it logically but realised it almost came across as admitting I did still have feelings for Jordan which, plainly, I did.
Claudia ran a hand through her curly blonde hair. “I do know he hasn’t had a proper girlfriend in a very long time. In the past year, I don’t think he’s even been out with anyone.”
Given everything he’d been through in the last twelve months, that statement didn’t surprise me. But to hear he hadn’t had a serious relationship for a while?
I didn’t want to read too much into her words and give myself any kind of hope. But even after the night before, I wasn’t sure if going back to Jordan would be the right thing to do. Physically, we worked. But the things that tore us apart back then had the potential to do so again. And I didn’t want to relive that.
“I doubt he’s lived like a monk,” I commented.
Claudia held up her hands. “I couldn’t tell you, and I don’t really want to know. His socials don’t give much away.”
Having internet stalked him recently, I knew that to be the truth.
We still had another two dates on the tour. Then, unless we agreed there was still something between us, we’d go our separate ways once more. I would certainly have enough work to keep my mind off of things, judging by Theo’s latest spreadsheet. Idol Rev and Jordan Bowie would be a distant memory.
If that was what I wanted.
CHAPTER15
Jordan
All too soon,the last night of the tour arrived. Instead of being at a university campus, it was in a club in London we’d performed in many times. A sort of homecoming if you will, and I’d get to sleep in my own bed.
But I didn’t want the tour to end because it would mean I wouldn’t see Lex again.
She had been MIA since Reading. According to Claudia, she’d been pulled away to meet a new band she would be working with after finishing with us. I’d messaged her a few times with zero response. We hadn’t spoken about what the kiss meant, whether it signalled a new beginning or a final ending.
I knew exactly what it meant to me.
I wanted Alexis Jagger back in my life. Permanently.
Excess energy burned through my veins all afternoon in the lead-up to the gig. It took all of my willpower not to stimulate it with something more. It would have been so easy to go back to the old ways, drinking, smoking, snorting before a show. But I’d proved I could do it without any of that stuff—unless you counted the painkillers. I had to make sure the gig that night was totally fucking epic.A celebration of the end of an amazing tour. A celebration of the fact we were going back into the studio to record new music.A celebration of what might be between me and Lex.
