Page 62 of Wish You Once More
Gently, I rapped on it. “Mat?”
When he didn’t answer, I pushed it open and peered inside. Mat paced around my room, up and down, up and down, along the rug at the end of the bed.
“Careful, you’ll wear it out.” I tried for a light-hearted approach at first. When he didn’t respond, I went for direct instead. “How did it go with Jonny?”
He halted, his back to me. “That’s all you did it for, wasn’t it? To heal my family, make sure I got back on an even keel with my brother.”
“What are you talking about?” I closed the distance between us and placed a hand on his shoulder.
Mat shook me off and turned to face me. “That’s why you came to Manchester to see me. It had nothing to do withus.” He spat the last word out with so much venom, I thought it might burn me.
“Who said that? Mat, that’s ridiculous.”
“Oh, so I’m ridiculous on top of everything else. Not that you want me anyway.” His chocolate eyes were so dark, his mouth contorted.
Whatever conversation had happened at the Redmond’s had been completely skewed from the truth.
“Okay, let’s take a step back.” As I said the words, I literally did. Not that I was scared Mat might lash out, he wasn’t that kind of guy, but I sensed he needed me to do that. “Tell me what happened when you saw your brother.”
He screwed up his eyes and shook his head. “Melinda said she’d told you to come and see me. You did it because she asked you to, not because you wanted to.”
Tentatively, I reached for his hand, holding his cold and unresponsive fingers in mine. “That’s not strictly true. Yes, Melinda did ask me if I’d heard from you, if I could speak to you because you weren’t responding to them. And I did try. I did call and leave you a voicemail. Maybe you don’t remember me saying that because of all the stress you’re going through. I messaged you too. But you’d switched your phone off, remember, blocked everyone on social media.” I took a deep breath to stop the words from simply tumbling out. “When I couldn’t speak to you, I decided to take the trip. Last weekend affected me more than I realised.” I swallowed against the lump in my throat. “I needed to find out if there was something in our future.Our future, Mat. I didn’t do it for Melinda or Jonny, I did it for us.”
Pent up emotions threatened to break free and I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to cry or scream or laugh. Mat’s lack of response made me wonder if I’d laid my heart on the line too easily and he was about to trample all over it. To tell me he didn’t want anything more from me. That I meant nothing to him and that we were over. Forever, for good this time.
“Look, if this isn’t what you want, you need to tell me now.” I pushed for something, anything which would give a clue as to how he felt. A tear trickled down my cheek, but I didn’t reach up to swipe it away.
Instead, Mat did. The pad of his thumb brushed against my skin, and I shivered, unable to stop the involuntary reaction. Heat and cold flooded through my body at the same time, and I didn’t know how to deal with the conflicting sensations. I wasn’t sure whether he was going to gather me into his arms or push me away.
“Bree,” he breathed.
One word. One word which sent my insides into literal meltdown.
He slipped his hand out of mine, cupping my face in his palms. “When you turned up on my doorstep, I couldn’t have been happier to see you. Ever since I went back, you’d occupied every single moment of my thoughts. Seeing you again, spending time with you, remembering all the good times we had, it was everything. Then reality kicked in. The band, rehearsing, back on that treadmill. I wanted someone to share it with.”
“You could always have Ellie.” I tested the waters mentioning her name, wanting to hear it again from Mat how he didn’t want her.
Slowly, he shook his head. “Never. She’s not you, Bree. No-one ever will be.”
Tears leaked from my eyes again, I couldn’t stop them.
He went on. “I know this is a crazy time for me right now, and I’m probably not thinking straight, but do you think we could try again?”
All breath left my body. “I think we could.” My voice cracked as I spoke. “In fact, I think we should.”
He let out a long, hard exhalation. “Thank God. I honestly thought you’d say no.”
I grasped his wrists and pulled them away from my face. “After I made the effort to come and see you? Do you think I’d spend that long on a train for just anyone?”
A laugh escaped him. After everything, his father, his brother, it was the most glorious sound.
“No, Bree Sheridan, I don’t. And I’m so fucking thankful you did it for me.”
Mat captured my lips in an intense kiss, breathing me in like I was his lifeline. Our bodies moulded together, unable to get close enough to each other. His hands roamed down my back, coming to rest on my hips and pulling me against him. I kissed him back, as if my own life depended on it.
Nothing had ever felt so right, so perfect, in spite of everything that waited for us outside of my bedroom.
Together, we’d be able to get through it.
