Page 45 of Wish You Once More
“He’s getting older, Jonny. With his health scares, there’s always going to be something.” I tried being reasonable, but knew I was digging an even bigger hole for myself.
Jonny’s face screwed up with anger. “If you can look at it in such a blasé way, then I don’t think I want you around. Just fuck off back to Manchester with Scott and your friends. You don’t belong here anymore, Mat.”
At first, I thought he was joking. That it was the stress of the situation making him mouth off. I looked towards Melinda for support.
“He can’t mean that.”
“Sorry, Mat, I think he does.” Melinda took my arm and escorted me out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her. “Jonny’s been mouthing off all the time we’ve been here. You haven’t come out of this well. I think you need to give him some space until he’s had some time to calm down.”
I stared at her, unable to quite believe what she said. “So, I’m supposed to walk away and not give my family another thought?”
“It’s what Jonny wants.” Melinda lowered her gaze, which made me think she didn’t agree with him.
“Can I at least see Dad before I go?”
As if on cue, a nurse came up to us. “Is that Oliver Redmond? He’s ready for visitors now.”
“Please, Melinda?”
She didn’t say a word and instead wrapped her arms around me, giving me a big squeeze before she released me and went back to join Jonny in the relatives’ room.
I followed the nurse into the recovery room, where Dad was hooked up to a machine, things attached to his chest, monitoring his stats I guessed. His eyes were closed, his face pale and lined. He lookedold. I swallowed hard and approached the bed.
Dad stirred, sensing someone close. His eyes fluttered open and a tiny smile crossed his lips. “Mat. You’re here.”
A wave of emotion washed over me and I struggled to contain the sudden tears which welled up. “Why wouldn’t I be?” I gripped his hand, careful not to dislodge any of the hospital equipment. “What did Jonny say?”
Dad’s brows knotted together. “Jonny didn’t say anything. What are you and your brother arguing about this time?”
“Nothing, we’re not arguing about anything. At least nothing important.” I shook my head. Dad didn’t need to know Jonny and I were at loggerheads again. “What we’re in agreement about is that you need to get better. We need to work out a way I can be more help, even though I’m not around so much.”
“Mat, you’ve helped more than you’ll ever know when you took off to the States.” He squeezed my fingers. “If you hadn’t have gone when you did, I doubt we’d be here today.”
If I hadn’t gone with Scott, there may not have been a business for Dad to be so stressed over. I didn’t know whether to feel guilty or grateful.
The nurse who’d shown me in stepped over to the bed. “I know there are other people waiting to see Mr Redmond, so I think that’s enough for the first visitor.” He smiled and glanced at Dad. “Is that okay with you?”
Dad looked up at me, sadness closing over his expression. “I never get to spend enough time with you, son. Your visits are far too short, and I’m far too old to come to your shows.”
“Nonsense. You aren’t old at all.” At sixty-one, he definitely wasn’t, and there were plenty of ageing rockers who showed up at Trash Gun gigs. “When we next play, I’m getting you VIP All Access tickets.”
The nurse’s jaw dropped. “I think we have a little way to go before he’s able to join the mosh pit. Just a couple more minutes please.”
I made promises to come home more often and call at least once a week, no matter what I was doing. Dad shushed me and told me to carry on living the dream, and that he’d see me soon.
When I walked out of the room, I glanced down the corridor to where Jonny and Melinda waited. I couldn’t deal with another confrontation now. Instead, I left the hospital and went back to collect my stuff.
There would be time to talk later.
The past thirty hours had drained me both physically and emotionally.
Finally sitting in my seat on the train gave me the peace and quiet I needed to reflect on everything.
The Dart Sundowner had been everything I’d expected it to be. Playing in the band with my brother after all these years was fun, although not something I necessarily wanted to repeat in a hurry.
Spending time with Jonny, Melinda and Henry had been a revelation. It had given me unexpectedly warm and fuzzy feeling. I truly began to understand the importance of family, despite all that had happened. Leaving with the row with Jonny hanging over me left a bitter taste in my mouth. I rested my head against the window of the train, watching as the lush green scenery became urban sprawl… home. My chest sagged.
Jonny wasn’t the only one who had left a bitter taste in my mouth.
