Page 9 of Lost in Her
I know what they have done, what kind of men they are.I have seen the markings before.I have seen her behavior before in my mother.
I slowly stand up from the couch and make my way over to the door.I grab the doorknob and stand still for a moment.I take a deep breath as I feel Emory and Shawn both staring at me, waiting for me to respond, but my answer is probably not the one they are hoping for, but they fucking know me.They know that I will cross any fucking line to make sure a woman is safe and not being abused.“I can’t make any promises to you .I won’t make promises I can’t keep, but I will keep her safe.I can promise that” I state softly, staring at the door in front of me.
“Why is she so different for you?”Shawn asks.He wants to know, and fucking honestly, so do I.I wasn’t wanting her to make me feel like this.I don’t even know what the feeling fucking is, which pisses me off, but the more I learn about her, the more drawn to her I am.The more I want to protect her and show her that not every man is going to hurt her and not every man wants to use her body.
I slightly turn around and look at Shawn.His eyes lock with mine.“Why was Emory so different for you?”I ask in a low voice.I know why, and so does he.Em brought him back to life again.Em showed him what love was, and the fear he once had about love melted away as soon as she walked into his life, and his life has never been the same.
Shawn doesn’t respond.He just nods.I turn the doorknob and open the door quickly, walking out, and closing the door behind me.
I understand why Jennifer needed my permission.I understand why she backed away from my touch.I understand why she thanked me before I left her in her apartment to get settled in.It is all starting to make fucking sense now.
Gael Copeland is one of the most ruthless men on this side of the country.He is known for his porn and his women.There have been rumors over the years that his porn business is just a front for sex trafficking, but the cops have never been able to find anything to prove it, so he has gotten away with it so far.
But that is about to change.He doesn’t know who I am or what I can do, but he will soon find out what a real monster looks like.
I slowly make my way down the hallway, walking almost past the counter.“Ethan,” Sherri calls, getting my attention.
“Will you bring these blankets and towels to Jennifer, please?I would do it, but the clients are starting to pile in for the group.”I see the concern in her eyes.But I know she isn’t going to ask me any questions.She doesn’t ask questions.She doesn’t try and get into our heads.She just sits back and reminds us that she is here if we need her.It is one of the things I love about her.She is there whenever and is a listening ear, when need be, and she can stay silent when she knows we don’t want to talk.
I nod.“I got it, Sherri,” I tell her, reaching over and grabbing the towels and blankets from the counter.I turn and quickly make my way down the hallway and back out the front doors.
The heat is already coming in.Today is going to be a hot day.
It is only 9:00 AM, and I can already tell that it will be over a hundred degrees today.
I quickly make my way down the path and past the security building to the metal gate.I put in my code and watch the gate open wide.I take a deep breath as I tighten my hold on the blankets and towels in my arms and walk through the now-open gate toward apartment 615.The one apartment I will probably never ever forget.
I stop in front of her door and see that it is slightly cracked open.My heart drops a little as I gently knock on the door.
Jennifer doesn’t answer, but I can hear a noise coming from inside.I take a deep breath as I gently push the door open and peek inside.It looks like it did last night.She hasn’t changed a thing yet.
“Jennifer,” I call softly as I take a step into the apartment.
I tighten my hold on the towels and blankets as I hear her throwing up in the bathroom.I slowly put the blankets and towels down on the side table next to the door and begin making my way to the bathroom.The door is cracked as I hear her throw up again.
“Jennifer.”I place my hand on the door and slowly push it open.
She is kneeling at the toilet.She is holding her hair back with her left hand, and her right hand is on the ground, keeping her in place.She is only wearing her bra and underwear, giving me a clear view of her back which is covered in healed belt scars.It makes my heart fucking break.
“Jennifer, are you okay?”I ask, slowly walking into the bathroom.She quickly releases her hair and puts out her hand to stop me, but nothing is going to stop me from helping her.I reach out and grab her hand.She holds onto my hand tightly as I slowly fall to my knees beside her.I grab onto her hair gently with my free hand, keeping it out of the way as she throws up again.She leans against me and tightens her grip on my hand as her body starts to shake.
“Hon, what can I do?”I ask softly, already knowing the answer.She must go through whatever this is.I can only just be here and try my best to comfort her.
She coughs and takes a deep breath.“Nothing.You can’t do anything.It will pass,” she whispers.
I watch her closely, needing to hear her voice again.So, I ask the only question that I know she will answer right now: “Drugs?”I ask calmly, trying to show her I am not judging her.there are no judgments that will come from me.I have been addicted.I have been on both sides, the addict and the dealer.Either side ends the same, in pain and suffering.I found that out once I got out with Shawn.
Even though we didn’t completely get out until a few years ago, Shawn changed the game for me.and changed me.
“Yeah,” she states softly.She keeps her head over the toilet as her body continues to shake.I feel the warmth from her body spreading across mine.
Her allowing me to touch her is one thing.Her leaning against me.Trusting me is something completely fucking different.
She is different than she was last night.She is still on edge, but not in the same way.
I slowly look down her back and legs and see the belt mark scars going down the inside of her legs.
“What are you on?”I ask, pulling my own attention away from her scars.She is beautiful and strong, and she doesn’t know it.She can’t see it.She only sees what they made her see.
