Page 54 of Lost in Her
Chapter Twenty
Jennifer
I sit on the edge of the bed in the black silk nightgown.I lift my hands and gently rest them against my stomach.So many things have happened since meeting Ethan.I have always wanted children but I never thought it was in the cards for me because of what my father was having me do.Plus, all the drugs probably was not for the best.But since meeting Ethan and falling in love with him I have seen that my life can be different than I thought.He gives me hope even now as I sit in this penthouse, a prisoner.I still have some hope.
My hope is fading but I can still feel it deep down inside of me.I am hoping this is not what my life is going to be.
Tristan has been gone since our encounter in the bathroom.It didn’t go as far as I thought it would.He is surprising me in the worst possible way.I don’t understand what he sees in me or what Ethan sees or any of the men over the years.
When my father had me start working in the studio more guys wanted me and I never understood why.Maybe it was because they all see that I am broken.Ethan has seen something in me that I still don’t fully understand but I want to.He looks at me like I am the most important thing in his life, and I know he means it because I have felt it in his touch, in the soft whispers he has spoken in my ears.
I need him.I wish we were back at the center inside my apartment still in my bed safe—both of us safe.But I don’t think either of us will ever feel safe again.I fell in love with him.I tried to fight it.I tried to push him away, but he stayed and he fought for me.
Even when I tried to make it impossible for him to love me, he never gave up on me.He stayed.
I hear my door open and close, but I don’t look over.I keep my eyes planted on the wall next to the bathroom door.My heart starts to race as I hear the footsteps getting closer and closer to me.
Tristan can never stay away that long.He wants to break me in a different way than my father did.Tristan is a patient man—too fucking patient—and will continue to tear me down until my walls fall.But I plan on keeping them up as long as I can because once they fall, I know that once again things will change.Things will be different and I am not ready for that change.I don’t want that change.
“Did you know your man is here?”a man asks me.I quickly look up at the stranger in my room.I’ve seen this man a few times.He’s one of the men who was here when I first woke up.
From what I can tell he is one of the main men Tristan trusts.In our world he is known as an enforcer, someone who will do the dirty work and not ask questions.And from what I have observed with this guy, he just does as he is told like a robot with no emotions.
“Where is Tristan?”I ask, looking at the closed door.Tristan can’t be far behind this man.Tristan is very possessive and he doesn’t like being away from me for long.That is what I’ve learned about him over the last few years.Every single day he came to the studio it became harder and harder for him to leave.
“Dealing with your man,” he says in a low amused voice making my heart sink.Ethan.My Ethan.
“What do you want?I am doing as I am told,” I snap, not wanting him to see the panic I feel right now with the mention of Ethan.They will use anything against Ethan, and I don’t want to give them anything else they can try to use against him.
“I wanted to come and see,” the man states, tilting his head to the side, drawing my attention fully to him.He is a big dude covered in tattoos wearing all black.His sleeves are rolled up past his elbows showing off his tattoos and scars.
This man is scary as fuck, but at the same time, I have seen scarier.I have dealt with scarier.
“See what?”I ask, not hiding my irritation.I already must deal with Tristan’s mind fucks, I don’t need this guy in my head, too, taking up space, making me nervous, and wonder about shit.Tristan has done a good job of doing that all on his own.
“What the big fucking deal is.Tristan is obsessed with you.Ethan has come here begging to see you.You have both of them wrapped around your little finger.”The man keeps his eyes locked on me.I feel the chills go down my spine at his words.
“I didn’t want any of this,” I retort, needing him to leave.I don’t like his stare or his tone.He’s letting me know without saying a word that what he has planned is going to hurt.
“That’s probably true, but here we are.”He closes the little bit of distance between us and stops in front of me.I look up at him.His eyes are looking me over in the worst possible way.
