Page 40 of Lost in Her
Chapter Fourteen
Ethan
After nearly a month, the burning of the studio is finally not on the news anymore.No one is saying what really happened, but our community knows that it was us.We didn’t try to hide it and the Feds can’t prove it.I know they are watching us and watching Tristan.He has friends in high places, but so the fuck do we.
I watched him watch the studio burn and, honestly, he didn’t give me the reaction I wanted.He didn’t fucking freak out—he just watched it burn.He knew it was us.He knew we were trying to send him a message, a message that I know he got loud and clear.
Shawn and I got all four of the women out and they are trying to settle in, but they are just as scared of Tristan as Jenn, who is becoming more distant every day.
The more I try to hang on to her the more I feel like I’m losing her.I want her to feel safe, but she doesn’t, not really.She says she feels safe, but I can feel in my gut that she is just telling me what she thinks I want to hear.She has never been the type to tell me what I want to hear.
But every day I see her slowly changing—changing because of what has happened and what will happen soon.Whatever the fuck is going on, it has put me more on edge, the rage and concern consuming me whole.Shawn has seen it in me, but he hasn’t said a word about it.
Shawn didn’t tell anyone but Emory about what happened at the studio.I am not ashamed of what I did and I don’t feel guilty.They chose to serve Tristan and Gael and abuse women—they got what was coming to them all along.
Every day Jenn and I give ourselves to each other, trying to drown out the chaos in our heads and the chaos on the outside and for a short time it works.But then it all comes crashing back, reminding us that we can’t escape the outside world or the prison inside our heads.Every time she gives herself to me, I am reminded of why I am doing all this.Every time she looks at me, touches me, tells me she loves me I am once again reminded that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her.
I just wish she would talk to me, but she has been silent.Her body has been doing all the talking.But her words spoken to me have been less and less.
I know there is something going on with her, but she won’t open up and tell me.Whenever I am around she seems nervous.And I can’t figure out why but at night in our room she finally lets go and lets me love her.She opens up for me, she screams and moans my name.But during the day is different—she has been staying close to Emory.I can hear them whispering but I can never make out what they are saying.
I have learned that Jenn will tell me what’s going on when she is ready, even if it’s fucking killing me not knowing what is going on with her.I know that I can’t push her too hard.I have to give her her space and when she is ready, she will talk to me.Fuck, man, I hope she talks to me.
Don’t get me wrong—making love to her is fucking amazing.But I don’t want her to hide from me and right now I feel like she is and it scares me.
Shawn and I push open the center front doors and make our way out into the parking lot.We just had a serious meeting about what our next move is going to be and, so far, I think everyone is on board.We are going to sit tight and wait and see what Tristan does next.
Shawn and I both stop and look at the front main gate.My heart fucking drops as Shawn and I both see that it is wide open.I think Tristan has just fucking made his move.
I slowly look around—people are walking around and talking and laughing.Even with everything that is happening we’ve been able to keep this place running and safe ...or so we thought.
“What the fuck?”Shawn yells, quickly making his way over to the gate.I reach behind my back and grab the gun from my jeans.Before I can catch up to Shawn, our cars explode by us, making Shawn and I fly back and hit the ground.
My head hits the ground.I can feel the rocks in my skin.My heart stops as I try to figure out what is happening.
My ears are ringing.I see the flames from the car as Emory is screaming Shawn’s name.Even with the ringing in my ears I can hear the pain and fear in her voice.
We have been preparing—or we thought we were preparing—but once again Tristan proves us wrong.Provesmewrong.
I lift my hands and place them over my ringing ears as I turn and look over at the center.People are running out of the building.I can see the fear on their faces from here.No one has ever had the guts to try and attack us here, but Tristan is not normal.He will do whatever he has to, to make sure he sends a message.
I started this by burning his studio and killing more of his men.I fucking brought this upon us.Tristan wants us to know, wants me to know, that nowhere is safe from him.That he can touch us whenever the fuck he wants.
