Page 36 of Lost in Her
I feel him slow his motion until he is completely still inside me.He releases his grip on my throat and lowers his hand placing it on top of mine.His body and mine both covered in sweat and still I feel the need to have him again.
He slowly lifts his hands and stands up and takes a small step back.Making me feel cold and empty.I release my death grip on the railing and slowly turn around.I watch him pull up his sweatpants.He leans down and grabs the sheet, then he walks into me allowing me to feel his body heat.Making the cold and empty feeling melt away.Making it nothing but a memory.
He wraps the sheet around me and pulls me into him.I wrap my arms around his waist.I shove my face into his strong sweating chest.I take a deep breath, once again becoming consumed by his scent.His love.His warmth.He wraps his arms around me, pulling me firmly against him.I can feel his racing heart against my chest.He leans down and places his lips once again against my ear, a gesture I will seriously never get sick of.
It has become our thing, just like taking a deep breath.Just something we do together, something that keeps us sane and in the moment.
“Did you really say yes?”Ethan asks in a hopeful voice.He needs validation just as much as I do.We are one and the same, he and I.
“I did,” I whisper softly.He tightens his arms around me even more.I can feel both of our hearts racing, partly because we just had sex and partly because I just agreed to marry him.
I must be fucking out of my mind to say yes.But how can I not?He came into my life and has changed everything.I never want to go back to the way it was before, and he has made sure that my father will never touch me again.
He made sure that I was safe from my father’s touch.How can I say no to a man that is willing to do anything to save me?And he already has.He has saved me every day since the moment I laid eyes on him.
I can feel he knows that.And I can also feel that he feels the same way about me.Both of us are not good with words, but our bodies give it away.Our hearts give it away.
“I love you,” Ethan says, tightening his grip on me even more, both of us holding onto each other.Both of us are acting as if the other will disappear.But in this life, you never know what tomorrow will bring.
My father taught me that.You never know what will be taken from you, so you must be grateful for it right now in this moment because you might not have it tomorrow.
“I love you, too, babe” I reply, allowing a smile to form on my lips.When I escaped, I didn’t know what would happen.I didn’t think I would get that far and now tonight I am not just Ethan’s lover I am his fiancé.
It is crazy how much things have changed and how much things will continue to change tomorrow.
“Promise me—” He stops for a moment, making my heart race for a whole new reason.
I feel his breath on my ear.“Promise me you will always be here.”
“I promise.”I tell him.I don’t need to think about my response.I am not going anywhere.I wanted to leave.I wanted to get away from him and this place because I wanted to protect him, all of them, but now after this, after Ethan ...I can’t just leave.I don’t think I would survive it.
“I can’t lose you, sweetheart,” he states in a pained voice letting me see how worried he really is about everything.He doesn’t have to say much to give away how he is feeling.The worry and concern are radiating off him in waves.
“You never will.I am right here, Ethan.”I’m trying to reassure us both because he and I can’t make any promises right now.Not until Tristan is dealt with.Until then anything and everything can happen.But I will try and keep my promise.I would never willingly just leave him.
He leans down a little more, shoving his face into the side of my neck.
We both have fears of losing each other.We are both damaged and shattered.But together we are beautifully damaged and shattered.
