Page 20 of Lost in Her
“What did you just say?”I ask, needing validation that I heard him right and that my mind is not playing tricks on me.
Ethan searches my eyes for a moment and my heart sinks into my stomach.“Tristan Pierce was at the front gates.”
Before I can even say anything, I am out of his arms and pacing.Ethan slowly stands up from the chair but I back away again, a gesture I hate, but, honestly, it is the only thing I know how to do.Back away and don’t get close.Even when I want to get close.
My heart is racing with Ethan’s words.I should have just stayed.If I had stayed at the studio and kept taking like a good little girl none of this would be happening.The other women here wouldn’t now be in danger because of me.
Tristan Pierce is one of the most dangerous men I have ever met.He comes from old money.And his family is so deep into the mob life that I can’t even tell you when it started.But I know that his family is feared and respected by criminals and everyone else in between.
Tristan has been coming to my father for years.watching me, using me.He has been trying to convince my father to sell me to him.But my father always refused.I was making him too much money.But now...Now that I ran, my father must have finally said yes and took Tristan’s money for my life.
“Jenn, talk to me” Ethan says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I stop pacing and as soon as I do Ethan closes the distance between us stopping right in front of me.He keeps his hands at his sides, but I can still feel the warmth from his body.
“He is a dangerous man,” I whisper, my voice shaky and uncertain.
Ethan searches my eyes for a moment then takes a deep breath.“I am dangerous,” he states with confidence, a statement I know is true.
“You don’t understand, Ethan.He is a very dangerous man,” I warn him.Tristan coming here is not good.My being here is not good.What have I done?
“He left.”Ethan continues to search my eyes.
I feel my heart racing so fast I know that Ethan can feel it.I know he can feel mine because I can feel his.Whatever happened with Tristan makes Ethan worried.“He wanted me?”I already know the answer.
Ethan slowly nods.“Yes,” he confirms, knowing he didn’t need to answer but chose to anyway.
“My father.”I know that my father is behind this—he is always behind everything.He was supposed to be my protector, my savior, the one man in my life who was supposed to love me the most.And in the end, he is the one who destroyed me.He is the one that has turned me into what I am now.A drug addicted.A porn star.
“Yes,” Ethan states in a low dark voice.I can feel his heartbeat speeding up with the mention of my father.
I must get out of here.I must put as much distance between me and Ethan and this place as possible.I have to go back.I have to.
I quickly walk around Ethan and make my way to the front door.I put my hand on the doorknob but before I can turn it Ethan’s arms are wrapped around my waist.Pinning me between him and the door.“I have to go.”The only thing I am sure of right now is that I don’t want Ethan or anyone else to get hurt because of me.
I am not worth this.I am not worth anything.I am nothing more than a shattered vase.
“Jenn,” he whispers into my ear, once again taking me from my own thoughts.He saves me without knowing.He stops me from going underneath the waters that are trying to drown me.
I don’t want to leave.I don’t want to leave him.He is the only man that has treated me like a human being and not an object.It is crazy to say it, but I am falling in love with him.And I don’t know exactly what that means but I do know I won’t let him suffer for me.Not me.
I have seen the pain in his eyes.I have felt his hurt through his touch.He has already been through so much I don’t want to add to his pain.Or his suffering.
I want to save him like he has already saved me in the short amount of time that we have been together.
“I should have never come here.”As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them.I see the pain growing in his eyes.
He keeps his eyes on me.“I’m not just going to let you go.”I can tell he is not just telling me.He is saying it to himself, too.
“He will destroy this entire place.Everything you love and care about he will destroy to get what he wants,” I mumble, staring down at the doorknob watching my hand shaking.Partly from the withdrawals my body is still going through.Partly because I know what will happen when I go back.And partly because I don’t want to be without Ethan.
How can I feel this way about him?How the fuck did this happen?Any of this?
“So, you’re just going to leave.”he states in a shaking voice.I feel his breathing start to increase on my skin.
“I have to go back,” I whisper, not wanting him to hear.
His body stiffens against mine, letting me know that he heard me, that what I am about to do is starting to sink in.“What?”he asks in a dark voice, making my heart sink.
