Page 13 of Lost in Her
Chapter Four
Ethan
A week later, I’m leaning against the door frame of the bathroom, my arms crossed over my chest.As I watch Jenn walk into the shower and underneath the water, her long hair falls down her back as the water falls down onto her, washing away the dirt and blood that was still on her skin from her father.
She has been in and out a lot over this past week, the withdrawals only allowing her to be with me for short amounts of time, but this morning, she looks better.She has seemed better over the past week.I’ve watched her walls and defenses really start to come down.She is trusting me, believing my words of not harming her, and wanting to help her.
I really do want to help her.I want to help her heal, but now I am afraid I am also becoming selfish, and I want her.I want her in the worst fucking way.
This was not my intention to fall for her, but just like I am making her walls and defenses go down, she is also making mine fall just the same.
I have seen it in her eyes.Her soft, sweet eyes.I have felt it in her touch, her kiss.She is starting to fall for me, too, which I know terrifies both of us.This is wrong and fucking twisted on every fucking level, but I can’t seem to stop myself, and she doesn’t seem to be able to either.
I take a deep breath as I slowly look her over, seeing the scars on top of scars on her skin.She is fucking beautiful.Her skin is perfect, even with the scars.
I have never looked at scars the way others do in society.Normal people would judge her, make fun of her, and whisper about her behind her back, but I am not normal.
Scars, to me, are gorgeous.They tell a story.We each have a story, a life we have survived, and Jenn’s evidence of her survival is all over her skin, telling me what she has survived and what she has had to go through.
There are fresh bruises going down her back and legs.These bruises I didn’t notice before, which tell me her father and other men hurt her before she escaped and made her do things she didn’t want to do.
She doesn’t see how strong she is.I saw it in her eyes a week ago in this room when she screamed at me to leave.I saw the rage and pain in her eyes.She was fucking terrified of the unknown, so she lashed out and made sure that she pushed until the person broke.
I know what she is thinking.She thinks if she can push and push until they break and get it over with, then she can move on.She hates not knowing what is going to happen, so she does the only thing she can do to try and have some control.She lashes out.She has fucking fire inside her.
“Are you just going to watch?”she asks.
I look down her back at the scars, the bruises, the bite marks.“Yes,” I reply as calmly as I can.
I want so fucking badly to go and kill every single fucking man that has ever fucking touched her.I want my face to be the last fucking thing they ever see.
I watch her slowly turn around in the shower.Her eyes are still terrified but also curious.There is a desire in her eyes, longing.The way she looks at me makes my heart stop and makes me lose a little bit of my own control.
She slowly backs up until her back is against the wall.The water continues to fall down her naked body.I slowly look down in front of her.There are more belt scars but also knife scars and bite marks.
I feel my heart race, and my blood starts to boil as I lock my eyes on the bite mark on her throat.
I slowly look up into her eyes, both of us searching each other’s.both of us trying to figure out what move to make next.
Before Jennifer, I would have just acted without thinking, but with her, I think about every fucking thing by being very aware of my gestures, my body language, and my tone.Because all of it means something to her, and I know I need to be careful, very fucking careful.
I watch her slowly lift her arms above her head, placing them against the shower wall, making my heart race even more.
I push off the door frame and lean down, removing my boots, my pants and boxers, and then my shirt.I take a step towards her and watch her eyes wander, looking me up and down, making me smile.She’s curious, and it is fucking adorable.
I quickly close the distance between us, walk into the shower, and stop when my chest is against hers.The water starts to wash over me.I lift my left hand and grab onto her wrists, pinning them firmly against the shower wall.I gently touch her skin with my fingertips, making my way down her body.I grab onto her right leg and lift it up, holding it against my side.I feel her wrap it around my waist as I gently put my hand between us.I grab onto my already hard dick and put the head at her entrance.I keep my eyes on her.
“Last chance to tell me no,” I growl.I will never force her.I would stop right here right now if she asked me.I need her to know that.
“I will never tell you no,” she responds, making my heart skip a beat.What the fuck is she doing to me?What the fuck are we doing to each other?
“Jennifer.”Once I start, I won’t be able to fuck stop.
