Page 10 of Lost in Her
“Heroin,” she murmurs.I can hear the shame and guilt in her voice, letting me know this wasn’t her choice.
Her answer makes my blood boil, and my heart sink.Heroin is a hard-core drug, for sure.I saw what it could do when I was dealing.Shawn and I never touched it, but I have seen the aftermath of what it can do to someone.
After learning who her father is and a little of what she has gone through, it doesn’t surprise me that she is on something, but from looking at her, I can tell she hasn’t been on it by choice.Her father and the other men probably got her addicted to make it easier to control her, and now that she isn’t with them, so they aren’t giving it to her, her body is going through withdrawals.
I watch her closely as she shoves her face back down and throws up again.Her body is now shaking more against mine, making me feel helpless.I remember when I went through withdrawals—they’re not fun.You feel as if your body is fucking breaking from the inside out.
Chapter Three
Jennifer
I feel my body continuing to shake against Ethan.He is silent beside me, holding my hair and my hand.He is patient and observant.He is different than I thought he would be.He is different than the other men my father brings to the studio.
But he is a man, and men only want one thing.
“I need you to leave,” I say, feeling my stomach start to turn again.
He doesn’t respond.He just continues to hold my hand and hair.I feel my heart racing between throwing up and having his body against mine.I don’t know why I melted against him or allowed him to hold my hand and hair.
Maybe it’s because, for a moment, I just wanted to know what he felt like.Stupid, I know, but I wanted it, and now I need him to leave.I need to be alone and deal with my shit on my own, just like I always have.
“Ethan, please leave,” I state calmly, or at least as calmly as I can.
“No.”
“What?”I ask, not hiding my confusion.
“I am not leaving you like this,” Ethan says in a pained voice.
“It will pass.I told you, just go,” I grumble, letting him hear my irritation.I don’t need him here watching me throw up my guts because I don’t have drugs.
“No,” he repeats in the same pained voice.
I feel the anxiety and panic starting to build inside me.I release my hold on his hand and quickly stand up, feeling my stomach turn even more.
My vision is blurry, and my legs are shaking.He quickly stands up and tries to wrap his arm around my waist.I turn and try to push him away, but he doesn’t move, not even a little bit.My anxiety continues to grow as my legs become even more shaky and unstable.I turn and look at him.
