Page 62 of Lost in Her
I watch Shawn tighten his grip around Emory.I don’t know how long I’ve been here but I can tell that they haven’t left my side.And even if the hospital told them they had to leave I know they would refuse.Shawn has taught me what a family is, and I am grateful for him and Emory.They have given me a chance to be better than I was before.“Brother, you scared the shit out of us,” Shawn says in an amused but still concerned voice.
“I scared the shit out of myself,” I’m trying not to laugh—it was too close for comfort.
“She hasn’t left your side.”Shawn nods from me to Jenn.
I look down at Jenn.Her head is still resting on the bed.I slowly and gently lift my hand and rest it on the back of her head.
She quickly lifts her head and stares at me.I can already see the tears building in her eyes.
“Hey, you,” I whisper.I can feel my own tears starting to build.She is the only one who can make me feel this vulnerable, this naked, without doing a single thing.Her eyes see right into my heart and soul and both belong to her.And they always will.
“Hey,” she whispers, allowing the tears to escape and roll down her face.
I slowly remove my hand from the back of her head and rest it gently against her face, slowly wiping away the tears.“I’m okay,” I assure her.It fucking hurts like hell, but I’ve had worse, and I will survive.
“Ethan, I am so sorry.”I can see the shame and guilt in her eyes.
This is not her fault, was never her fault, and I will not allow her to believe that it is.She couldn’t control anything that happened—neither of us could.What happened was always going to happen, no matter what we did to stop it.
“Don’t do that.Don’t you dare fucking do that.”It hurts me more to see her like this than it does being shot and stabbed.
“What?”she asks in confusion.
“Apologize.Don’t apologize to me.”I can handle anything, but I can’t handle her trying to take responsibility for something that was out of her control, out of control for both of us.
I underestimated Tristan.And now I have learned to never do that again.I have learned that a man’s obsession can be a deadly thing.And now I know what to look for and what to do if it ever happens again.
“Ethan, I am the reason you are here.”
I take a deep breath and shake my head, everything that has happened since meeting her flooding my mind.
From the moment I laid eyes on her she had me.She had me and she didn’t even know it.That night, she changed me.She changed me in a way I can’t put into words.I wouldn’t change a damn thing because he brought me her.And I never want to be without her again.
When we found out that Oliver took her, my heart broke and I felt an emptiness I never felt before, like a part of my heart was missing.And that was because therewasa part missing—she had it and she always will.
“No, you are not.Tristan is the reason, not you” I’m trying to process my own thoughts and feelings about everything that has happened.Tristan was ruthless in what he was willing to do to get what he wanted.But now he’ll pay for everything he has done to Jenn, to me, and to my family.
“I’m so sorry,” she states again.I know she needs validation.I know she needs to know that she is okay, thatweare okay.
And I will spend the rest of my life validating her in every way I can.
“Babe, I love you.I’m okay, we are both going to be okay.”
“You kissed him, huh?”Shawn asks in an amused voice.
I shake my head and smile.“She did what she had to do.”
At first, I had no idea what was going on.But now I understand.She did this for me.She did it for me.
She is strong and beautiful.She doesn’t understand how much I love her, but she will.I will make sure of it.
