Page 28 of Lost in Her
“I am doing okay,” I lie.I won’t be okay until I know Ethan is all right.They have been gone for a long time and I am starting to freak out inside.But Emory is calm.which calms me.She would know if something was wrong.I know she would tell me if she had heard anything.She doesn’t seem worried that they have been gone for so long.
She must be used to them leaving for a long time.something I am not used to yet.And I hope I don’t have to get used to it.I don’t like it when Ethan leaves.But I trust him, and I believe him and what he promised to me.He said he would always come back and so far, he hasn’t broken his promises so I have to trust what he tells me.
“How are you doing, really?”she asks.She knows a lot.And she is starting to know me well.
I turn and look at Emory, who is looking out at her kids.“I don’t know, Em.This is all so much.”This is all new and different and fucking scary.And with Tristan out there and my father...I don’t know how I feel.
I know I am safe here, but I also know Tristan and he means what he says.His words are not just threats.He will follow through and when he does, this place will no longer be safe for any of us.
“I know what you mean.But Ethan will figure things out,” she states with confidence, melting away a little bit of my doubts and fears.
“You really trust him, don’t you?”I ask but I already know the answer.We all heard the stories of what happened with her and her ex, plus when I first got here, she told me a little bit, but I can see in her eyes there is a lot she hasn’t told me, which I understand.
Emory turns and looks at me.“Yes, I really do trust him.He saved my life, he and Shawn.”I can hear the pain in her voice.
All of us have a story and something we have survived.And I can see it in her—what she has been through has made her who she is today.It has given her the ability to help people like me and I am so very grateful for her and what she is trying to do.
“Ethan is very intense.But I guess so am I,” I smile ruefully.Since meeting Ethan, we have been through so much.And we are both toxic in our own ways.But I can’t seem to walk away from him, and I don’t think I will ever be able to.
Not now that he has started to put my shattered pieces back together again.No one has looked at me the way he does, has touched me the way he has—he is consuming me in every single way.
“He is very intense about things and people he cares about.And, Jenn, he really does care about you,” Emory says with so much confidence it makes my heart stop.But I know she is telling the truth.Ethan is many things, but he isn’t a liar.
“I know.I can feel it and see it in his eyes.”I remember the first time I gave myself to him.How gentle and filled with desire we both were.And every time since then has been just like that.He hasn’t changed.If anything, things are just getting more intense between us.
“He is loyal.But very stubborn.”Emory chuckles.
I can’t help but laugh because she is right—he is loyal and very stubborn.He and I are the same that way.
“Can I ask you something, Jenn?”
I nod and smile.“Of course,”
“Do you love him?”she asks in a gentle but serious voice.
I don’t respond, I just stare at her, my heart is racing with her question even though I already know the answer.I have said the answer a million times inside my head, but it is different when you say it out loud to other people.
I slowly nod my head.I don’t know why it is so hard to say it to her.I feel nervous and out of place.I don’t feel like I belong here.I honestly don’t feel like I belong anywhere.But I am starting to feel that change with Ethan.He makes me feel like I belong with him.
He makes me feel that I am worth more than what my father has made me believe.
“Jennifer,” Emory whispers my name.Her eyes search mine.
I nod.“Yes.Yes, I love him,” I state with confidence.I don’t know how or why I have fallen so fast, but I have fallen.And I am in love with Ethan Raven
Emory smiles and gently rests her hand on my leg, a gesture not many have given me, at least not in the way she is.
I know why people respect her so much and trust her.There is just something about her that makes us feel safe.
I slowly look over at the parking lot and see Ethan’s car pulling in.Emory and I both stand up and watch as he parks the car.Shawn and Oliver get out.
“Daddy,” I hear one of the children yell as Emory slowly starts to make her way over to Shawn.I smile as the children run to their father, all hugging onto him.
Shawn wraps his arms around Emory and leans down, connecting his lips to hers.
I look from Shawn to the car.Ethan is still inside.I quickly make my way around the bench and take a few steps forward as I watch Ethan opens the door and slides out.My heart stops as he steps out and closes his door.He rests his arms on his car as he puts his head down.
Even from here I can tell he is taking a deep breath.And even from here I can see the blood on him.
