Page 21 of Lost in Her
Ethan releases his hold on me.He grabs my arm, forcing me to turn around.He quickly walks into me so his chest his now against mine.He tightens his grip on my arm as he lifts his free hand and rests it against the side of my face, forcing me to look at him.
“If I go back, he will leave you alone.Will leave this place alone,” I state through my tears.I can do this.I can do this.The words echo repeatedly inside my head.
“I will never ever let that fucking happen.”Ethan’s eyes are locked on me.
Even with his body pinning me against the door keeping me in place, I can feel my entire body start to shake.This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.Looking at him right now fucking breaks me.Seeing his eyes like this fucking breaks me.“Ethan, I am not going to let you or anyone else get hurt because of me.”I say with as much confidence as I can.
He shakes his head.His eyes rapidly searching mine.“I am not going to let you go back to him, to your father, to the other men.”His voice is stern and angry.
“It’s okay.I can handle it.”
“Do you hear what you are saying?’Ethan states, anger growing in his tone.
“I can handle it, Ethan.For you.For this place I can handle it.”I hear the words repeat over and over inside my head.I will believe these words.For these words must become the truth.
“Fuck no and fuck that,” Ethan states not letting me respond.
He leans in and smashes his lips to mine.he drops his hand from my face.He pulls back just a little and releases his grip on my arm.I slowly lift my arms above my head.He grabs onto my wrists without needing to think.He quickly unbuttons his pants with his free hand and pulls down his pants and boxers allowing them to fall to his ankles.
He leans back in, his lips colliding with mine.I open my mouth for him, feeling his tongue enter without needing a second to think it through.He leans into me as I feel his hand go between us.I lift my leg, positioning it against his side and wrapping it around him.He leans further into me, pinning me firmly against him and the door making sure I can’t go anywhere.
This is becoming so natural for the both of us.The only thing that feels right and real right now.I feel him grab his dick and position himself at my entrance, this time not pulling away.He deepens the kiss as he pushes his dick into me, my heat wrapping around him.He releases his dick and grabs onto my hip as he starts to move in and out of me.
This time he is not slow or gentle.He is filled with desire and need.Our words spoken to each other quickly melting away.
I hear him groan as a moan escapes my throat.The tears escape my eyes and roll down my face as I start to move with his motion, making my eyes roll back into my head.
He is trying to change my mind.he is trying to consume me, so I don’t leave.But my mind is made up.Even after this.This is just reaffirming what I need to do.
Ethan, Shawn, and Emory have created something beautiful here, something I won’t let Tristan and my father destroy.So if giving myself up to them will save Ethan, Shawn, Emory, and this place from being destroyed then I will give myself up.I will let Tristan have me.He can do whatever he wants to me if Ethan and the others will be safe.
Ethan will be okay.Shawn and Emory will be okay.And this place will not be touched so they can continue to help others.
But in this moment, this moment right here, this belongs to me and him, and no one, not even Tristan, will be able to make me forget what Ethan has made me feel.He was able to put some of my shattered pieces back together again.He was able to see something in me that I didn’t even see myself.
And for a short time, I have been able to feel what love is supposed to be like and I will forever be grateful to Ethan for showing me a different way.He showed me that not all men hurt women or abuse and use them.He showed me that some men are good, loving, and gentle.
I will wait for the right moment to leave.And that moment is not right now.
