Page 17 of The One I Hate
’Cause it does, and I hate that.
“You’re thinking about it,” Mellie singsongs.
“Thinking about what?”
“Listening.”
I shake my head. “I’m not.”
“Liar,” she says. “I don’t know exactly what he did to you, but I know it hurt you deeply. You need closure. You can’t move on because something is still holding you back. If you listen, maybe that will help.”
She’s right. I hate when I’m not right, but I’ll admit this one.
“Okay,” I say. “Max! You better hurry with those shots because I’m going to need it after this.”
The bar is a little loud, so I doubt I can hear it just on speaker phone. Luckily, I always have my ear buds in my purse.
“I can’t do this on my own.” I hand Mellie one of the ear buds. She just nods as I hit play.
Here goes nothing…
“Bug! It’s me. Simon.”
“Aww!” Mellie says. “He calls you Bug? How sweet.”
“Shh!” I whisper-scream. I can barely hear him. Though what I am hearing sounds a lot like gibberish. Is he drunk too?
“Wait. No. You’re not cute. Well, you are. You’re beautiful. You still are. I know you never believed me when I told you that years ago, but I was telling the truth then and I’m telling you it now, you’re beautiful.”
Well, fuck. No! Stay strong!
“But that’s not why I’m calling. I need to yell at you. And apologize. But mostly yell. So buckle up, buttercup, this is about to be a journey. Also if I say hold on it’s because my drunk food is here.”
“What?” I scream, hitting pause. “He’s going to yell at me?”
“Calm down,” Mellie says. “Just hear what he has to say. Then appropriately react.”
I roll my eyes but do as she says.
Which is hard, because the next part of the voicemail goes on and on about me not saying goodbye and him looking for me and why I went off the grid. Which is hilarious considering his actions are the reason why he’s asking all of this. But he’s not admitting to any of that.
“But the question remains, why didn’t you say goodbye? Who does that? Especially after we kissed. I thought it was a good kiss. A great kiss. Wasn’t it a good kiss? I’m a good kisser, dammit. And so are you. We kissed good. I wanted to kiss youthe night of the wedding even though I yelled at you. And today. I wanted to kiss you today.”
I don’t hit pause, hoping Mellie slides over that one. She doesn’t.
“He wanted to kiss you today!” she squeals.
I shake my head. “Don’t fall for his shit. It’s easy to do. But he’s a liar.”
“Oh, yeah, did you know I don’t like coffee?” Simon continues. “Nope. Never did. I went in every day to that fucking coffee shop and bought coffee I didn’t like because I wanted to see you. Yes, you. No other reason.”
I point to the phone. “See? Liar.”
I might say that, but as the next part comes out, I find it hard to remind myself of that.
“What I said was mean and cruel and not very nice. Because I saw you, Bug, and it brought up fifteen years of hurt and pain and sadness, and I fucking miss you. I stopped dancing in the kitchen, even though kitchens were made for dancing. And you want to know the worst thing? I haven’t been able to watch wrestling since you left. The Rock is back, and I can’t watch it and it’s all your fault!”
I can’t help but laugh even as I feel the tears starting to form.
